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A to-die-for job

By Adam Roberts aroberts@theabingtonjournal.com

As I recently stood in the mirror with a borrowed plastic mask practicing my boos and growls, I wondered if I had what it takes to be a professional ghoul.

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Above, Abington Journal reporter Adam Roberts joins the dismembered heads on a display at Dracula’s Forest.

Abington Journal/Christy Clarke

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At left, Adam Roberts prepares to enter the Haunted Hayride to frighten patrons.

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I would get my chance the following night as I joined the ranks of the goblins, werewolves and ultra creepy clowns at Dracula’s Forest, 2828 Rock Drive, Ransom Twp.

Owners Darleen and Tom “Bergie” Bergamino gave me the chance to join their 149 employees for a night of fright

My scaring credentials are weak to say the least, as I typically opt for comical over frightening when it comes to Halloween costumes.

Nevertheless, I pulled on a black hoodie, slid on dark gloves and grabbed my neighbor’s blue goblin mask. I was ready to make girls cry and force tough guys to quiver.

I learned it wasn’t that easy.

As cars filed in and terror junkies lined up for the Haunted Hay Ride and the Shockwalk haunted house I met Darleen. She sent me and Abington Journal Photographer Christy Clarke through the Shockwalk, apparently to warm us up for my eventual scaring excursion.

The 12-person staff seemed to have a grasp of all of the techniques I’d seen before, from the devilish stare to the wild jump from the dark.

After watching these demons at work, I was ready to make my debut in Dracula’s Forest.

Bergie took Christy and me into the woods on his golf cart.

We approached three masked characters on the path. After brief introductions I was able to get one quick piece of advice, “watch your footing.”

The path through the forest was muddy and the tractor with wagon in tow does move quickly, but I thought I’d get more technical scaring advice.

Just then an eerie voice came over the loud speaker; it was time to get into position.

The three masked men jogged down the path to find their hiding spots. I was left standing alone near a fiery cemetery. Bergie, who was not wearing a mask, descended into the woods as a tractor approached.

“Just hide behind a tree and jump out as they pass,” he said.

Easy enough.

I pulled down my mask, flipped up my hood and crouched. As the trailer rolled by I sprung out and yelled.

Two people gave me half-startled looks; barely producing yelps, let alone the tears I expected to cause.

I could hear real screams of terror as I watched my ghastly acquaintances stalk up and down the trailer.

Apparently, being face-to-face with a monster was much scarier than my half-hearted leap from behind an oak.

After what I chalked up to be a loss, Bergie offered to take me to the Dracula’s Forest central command.

Off the path sits an old delivery truck and inside we found John Kudo, the voice I heard earlier. Bergie opened the back of the truck as Kudo started his ghostly speech.

“It’s feeding time in our world of darkness and you’re the main course,” Kudo said into a microphone.

After his speech, he returned to watching the Iowa vs. Michigan football game, which was on a small TV in front of him.

Kudo has spent more than two decades working in Dracula’s Forrest. He’s done everything from scaring to managing all the sound, which he does now.

He also communicates with all of the tractor drivers via CB radio. Anything happening in the world of darkness goes through Kudo.

With his experience, I figure he’d offer some real advice on scaring.

His first tip was, “don’t slip.”

I still didn’t understand this warning.He also explained that the premise of any haunted attraction is the distraction and the scare. I just needed to hide across from a spooky set up and strike.

Kudo then picked up the microphone and gave his spiel. It was time for me to get back to work as well.

I found a tree across from a display featuring a few dismembered heads.

This time I waited for the wagon to pass and gave chase.

That’s when I learned about footing. I slipped a bit in the mud and hoisted myself up just in time.

The struggle to board the trailer pushed down my mask so visibility was low. I stared down a few people near the end of the wagon. They didn’t look too frightened, but the other ghouls were jumping off so I followed suit.

My last attempt was the most triumphant, and allowed me to write this with a few shreds of pride.

I charged after the wagon and hopped on. This time I was determined to prowl all the way to the end of the trailer. With unsteady legs I made it, getting uncomfortably close to those I wished to terrorize.

As I made my escape I heard one girl say, “That’s the scariest face I’ve ever seen.”

Success.

The Dracula’s Forest Haunted Hay Ride and Shockwalk are open 6:30 to 10:30 p.m. Oct. 29 through 31. The Little Screamer’s Not So Scary Hay Ride is open Sunday, Nov. 1 from 2 to 5 p.m.

: The following is part of The Abington Journal occasional first-person "Day in the Life"story series, examining occupations and volunteer opportunities in the Abington area.