Friday, July 25, 2014

5 Things You Need to Know This Week

Christmas Edition

December 23. 2013 12:39AM

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Watching some TV, on this crisp, cold Christmas Eve … O’er the channels we skip, avoiding MTV … Looking for some thing, to make our spirits bright … What fun it is to finally find “A Christmas Story” Tuesday night. … Oh, TBS, TBS, thank you, TBS. Oh, what fun it is to watch and see ol’ Scut Farkus … Cursing dads, leg lamp fads, Ralphie wants his gun. The classic flick starts at 8 and goes for a 24-hour run.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. ‘Cause that’s what Wednesday is … Remember the five and ten, things won’t be that cheap again … It’s TV sets and Zhu Zhu Pets for you … It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. The day is finally here. … It’s December the twenty-fifth. I hope you like your gift. Got it from the discount rack at Sears. … It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Santa’s gone to sleep. And the greatest sight you’ll see, are the presents under your tree, and Sam Adams in the fridge.

Good King Wenceslas went out, Wednesday to see a movie … He found a theater close to home, and thought it kind of groovy … He got some popcorn round about, and smothered it with butter … He silenced his cellphone as they asked, so it wouldn’t mutter … There were many shows from with to choose, comedies and dramas … Even a film with Sly Stallone, whose as old as people’s grammas … Wolf of Wall Street. Walter Mitty. Maybe Justin Bieber … Wait a minute, what was he thinking? He’d rather die of fever.

You wanted an iPod, you got a Walkman. In the lane, the neighbor got a Lexus. It ain’t a beautiful sight, you’re grumpy tonight. Whining in a post-Christmas wonderland … Gone away is the turkey. Here to stay are the in-laws. They brought you a sweater, that you’ll never wear. Whining in a post-Christmas wonderland … On the 26th some guy started a holiday. And he called it “National Whiner’s Day.” He’ll say, are you happy? We’ll say, no way. And we’ll gripe about it every single day … But the whole idea, is a good one. It’s not to pout and moan. To be thankful for what we have, instead of what we don’t, and stop whining in a post-Christmas wonderland. …

I saw this guy come strolling in, on Christmas Week, on Christmas Week … I saw this guy and his puppets come in, on Christmas Week in the evening. … And what was up with those puppets of felt, on Saturday night on Christmas week … The guys uses them to make people laugh on Saturday night at the Arena … Achmed, José and Little Jeff were there, on Christmas Week, on Christmas Week … They’re friends of comedian Jeff Dunham, who’ll be in town Saturday night, on Saturday night … The show starts at 5 p.m. Saturday night at the Mohegan Sun Arena.


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