Students of life

Melanie Ward digs through a handbag, pulls out a pack of tissues and holds them up, trying to get her mom’s attention. Her mother, answering an interviewer’s questions about the difficulties of raising a child with muscular dystrophy, glances over and gives her daughter a look that relays a message of thanks, but no thanks.

Helen Ward later tries to convince her daughter that the tears were those of joy, not sadness.

“Haven’t you ever cried when you were really happy?” Helen asked her daughter.

For the mother and daughter tandem from Yatesville, the back and forth is a daily joy that they cherish.

Blake Mackesy, the director of the University College at Wilkes University, had nothing but praise and respect for the two and how they’re committed to each other.

“The love and the bond that they share is really inspirational and beautiful,” said Mackesy, who works with students who require special accommodations.

To Helen, every day she spends with her daughter is a blessing and proof of just how tough and determined her 19-year-old daughter is.

“Every day she wakes up and she’s healthy is an accomplishment because she made it another day longer than they thought she would,” Helen said, with remnants of tears still apparent under her eyes.

Driven to survive and succeed

On more than a half-dozen occasions, Melanie has had to be taken by ambulance or helicopter to hospitals with life-threatening complications. Three years ago she became septic from a blood clot in one of her major veins.

“The doctor didn’t think she was going to live,” Helen said. “She proved us all wrong. Within a month she was home.” Shortly after, she graduated with a 4.4 grade point average from Pittston Area High School.

Helen called her daughter “a very strong, stubborn at times, intelligent young lady. She’s a fighter; she’s a trooper.”

Melanie’s older sister Melissa, 22, said the question of how much more time they’ll have to spend with Melanie is anybody’s guess and it doesn’t weigh on her mind. She said she’s heard prognosis after prognosis that’s been wrong.

“I don’t believe in them anymore. I’ve seen a lot of people beat them,” Melissa said. She knows it’s inevitable.

“Everybody passes at some point,” Melissa said. She said she often tells Melanie that she’ll be here for a long time.

“God doesn’t want to deal with her and the devil’s afraid she’ll take over,” Melissa joked.

A member of the National Honor Society, she was home-schooled from grades six through 12 and took courses through Luzerne County Community College’s dual enrollment program. She had 10 college credits before she earned a diploma and applied to Wilkes with the goal of being a pharmacy major.

But the workload and stress of her first semester affected Melanie’s health and caused her to lose 33 pounds. She switched majors to business and is back on track with her mother in tow every day.

Helen drives her daughter to campus every morning, walks along side the motorized wheelchair Melanie sits in and then sits just outside each classroom reading a book, fiddling with a lap top or doing a cross stitch. She does not go into the classroom unless called upon for assistance.

“That would be too intrusive and too disruptive to the students,” Helen said.

Mackesy said there are 45 students at Wilkes that have requested special accommodations because of mobility or health issues. They’ve all been met.

She said many students inspire her and others on campus but Melanie “hits me at a level a little deeper than others.”

“Her courageousness, strength, her ability to overcome what really are significant challenges and push through it. I could go on about both of them,” Mackesy said.

Helen said the routine of getting up early, driving to campus, eating lunch in the dining hall and then heading to other classroom buildings makes her feel like a student.

“Everyone keeps asking me if she’s going to get a degree,” Melanie said, chiming in from the peanut gallery.

Melanie is the only student at Wilkes with this level of special needs and the school has been “wonderful” in accommodating any requests, she said.

“Everything we have asked for has been met with no questions asked,” Helen said.

For Helen, each new day is an unexpected chance to spend more time with her daughter.

For Melanie, each new day is another day of tests, assignments and pushing herself to succeed. While many high school students want nothing to do with furthering their education once they get their diploma, Melanie said not going to college was never an option for her.

“It was always something I saw in my future. Not to go, to me, shows weakness,” Melanie said. “I’m capable, so why not?”

She said professors treat her like any other student and that’s what she wants.

Tonya Miller, an activities director at a summer camp for children that require ventilators to breathe, said more and more often, schools are making it easier for these students to further their education.

“Because of accessibility and colleges thinking outside of the box bright young students like Melanie are able to go on to college and have the full college experience,” Miller said.

“Classes here are challenging in a good way. If it’s not challenging I’m bored. So it has to be hard,” Melanie said. She already envisions herself getting a degree and taking a job as a certified public accountant and then running an accounting department of a big firm.

“I wish I had half the strength she did,” Helen said, glancing over at her daughter who was unsuccessfully holding back a big smile.

When asked whether her mother will have to accompany her to work every day like she does now at Wilkes, Melanie has no answer.

Helen said she’ll likely have to drive her to and from work but how she’ll assist her daughter during a work day isn’t clear.

“It’s a bridge we have to cross yet,” Helen said. She lives in the present and doesn’t get too concerned about the future and what it holds. She likes to think about those firsts she’ll get to see her daughter experience. This past summer, a three-day trip to Atlantic City gave Melanie her first up-close glimpse of the ocean. Another trip resulted in Melanie’s first time in New York City. She wasn’t a big fan. But she can say she’s been there, done that, Helen said.

Their weekends consist of shopping – “we’re shopaholics, it’s our favorite pastime,” Helen said – and playing board games and watching sporting events. Melanie enjoys watching football and NASCAR races on television. Helen said Sunday afternoons during football season involves a lot of flipping back-and-forth between the two sports.

Strength of family

They say having a child changes your life. For Melanie’s parents Helen and Michael and her sister Melissa, that’s an understatement.

The Wards have equipped their home with ramps, chairlifts and more to accommodate Melanie’s health and physical needs. Helen quit her job as an account manager with Emery Worldwide to take care of her daughter. Michael works for Schwan’s frozen foods as a salesman.

It also shaped Melissa’s path in life. Based largely on her experiences growing up with a person with special needs, Melissa was driven to a career in the medical field.

She said she wasn’t cut out to be a doctor but she wanted to help others with disabilities so she thought “what would be the next best thing I could do to help them?”

Melissa enrolled in Misericordia University’s physical therapy program and will graduate with a master’s degree in May. She said her personal experiences dealing with families going through life with someone who’s not fully healthy gives her an edge.