A family’s victorious journey

DURYEA – Most fathers hear their babies call out before they begin to crawl. For Ron D’Eliseo, those words didn’t come until his son Robert turned 5.

Being autistic, Robert has presented myriad challenges to the D’Eliseo family. As they celebrate Father’s Day today, Ron looks back not only on the 12-year journey and what Robert has accomplished, but what he himself has accomplished thanks to his son’s inspiration and motivation.

When Robert was diagnosed with autism at age 2 �, the disorder was not as common as it is today. Doctors told the family to put Robert on medication and make sure he’s put in a harness.

The D’Eliseos would have none of that. For years Ron and wife, Brenda, watched their son scream and try to run away. He rarely talked or made eye contact. Every day was a learning experience for the family, which had their life turned upside down.

The simplest things, like going to church as a family, were impossible because Robert would sit in the pews for only a few minutes before screaming and yelling. Same went for going out to eat, heading to a retail store or any other public functions.

“We couldn’t go anywhere. We had to put deadbolts inside the house or else he’d escape. We were literally chained to the house for years,” Ron said.

“There was about three years of no going out as a complete family. We didn’t do vacations for about five years,” Ron said.

They had few places to turn and the D’Eliseos realized that more needed to be done to help families in their situation.

Ron and Brenda formed The Earthly Angels Autism Fund, which to date has raised and given away $100,000 to nonprofit organizations that provide services to those with autism. Among the beneficiaries has been the Pittston YMCA, which offers swimming sessions for autistic children six times a year.

The first fundraiser, called “Ride for Robert,” was a motorcycle rally. It ran for six years and then became “Reggae for Robert,” a summer dinner-dance. The fourth one is set for Aug. 1. The organization is “not a support group,” Ron said.

“We provide awareness and raise money to provide services to autistic children,” Ron said. He said he wishes something was in place like his group a decade ago when he found his son with a diagnosis that he was unfamiliar with, little help and information locally and a lot of questions.

But thanks to therapy and strong support from his family, Robert has come a long way. Today the family will attend a surprise 80th birthday party for Ron’s stepfather. The family won’t hesitate about bringing Robert along, an option that seemed highly unlikely just a few years ago.

A few years ago his basement was his classroom, getting 40 hours a week from therapeutic staff support workers from the county.

“Their first task was to get him to sit down for 30 seconds. That took a few days,” Ron recalled. Now, a sixth grader at Pittston Area, Robert is in a mainstream classroom, though he still has a support staff shadowing him.

“He’s come a long way,” Ron said. “He’s just a fun-loving kid who’s always smiling.”

Whether it was finally hearing his son say “dad” or being able to go to church as a family, each step, though small for some families, has been monumental for the D’Eliseos.

“It really took a lot out of my wife and me,” Ron said. “My two other kids had to go through a lot, too.”

And though things are certainly improving, just like any parent, there is concern.

“Even to this day we worry about him,” especially when the future is the topic, Ron, 45, said.

Among the concerns is who will care for Robert once Ron and Brenda are no longer able. Siblings Ron, 14, and Christen, 18, have done a yeomen’s job watching out for their brother, but Ron said it does weigh on him.

“There are so many unanswered questions. We can’t think that far down the road,” Ron said.

Instead, Ron and Brenda concentrate on today and how to make Robert’s life the most rewarding. In doing so, they’ve also learned that it makes their lives richer too and have no regrets about the hand they’ve been dealt.