News

October 28, 2009

Expert: Parents can control technology

FORTY FORT – In New Jersey, a ninth grader met the boy of her dreams.

They dated through high school and, before the couple parted ways their senior year, the girl let her boyfriend take a nude photo of her on his cell phone, said Katie Koestner, a nationally known expert on cyberspace issues.

Then, while in college, the girl’s boyfriend left his cell phone unattended and his friends forwarded the picture to all their friends.

The girl’s college scholarship was taken away. Koestner retold this tale to about 40 people — mostly teachers and parents of students at Wyoming Seminary Lower School —attending a lecture called “A Cyber World of Trouble” on Tuesday.

The seminar, sponsored by the Lower School’s Parents Association and The Times Leader, was free and open to the public.

“I’m going to give you fair warning that I did not teach the kids how to do these bad things today,” said Koestner.

Koestner, who has done presentations at about 1,500 schools, taught parents about what their children were doing behind the scenes.

“We can all be online at any moment,” said Koestner. “This is the age of privacy-smrivacy.”

Koestner said she has been speaking out about sexual assaults since she was raped by a fellow student while on a date during her freshman year at The College of William & Mary in Virginia.

Tuesday’s audience was first given a tour of popular social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace.

Facebook is used in many ways to flirt by writing messages on each others “Walls” to “Poking,” Koestner said. Users can send out icon “panties” as gifts and tell their friends to “spank you.”

Koestner showed a YouTube video of a parody of Enrique Iglesias’ song, “Hero.” The lyrics go, “I can be your Facebook stalker … You can’t take my mouse away.”

Koestner also warned about live chats on gaming devices.

Some of those games can be unlocked to pornographic mode, she said.

“At what age is this appropriate,” she said. “You have to decide.”

Koestner spoke about instant messaging codes and the strategies of online pornographers.

The presentation also gave parents advice to help them protect their children while using the Internet.

She recommended the following parenting tips:

Keep a “Talk to Mom and Dad” folder on the desktop for inappropriate material.

Set parental controls on Internet browser and computer.

Use child-friendly search engine filters.

Don’t give out passwords and keep a removable hard drive.

Get a timer to shut down a computer and disable wireless.

Koestner also recommended that parents set rules such as video game and Web cam policies.

“These are options ladies and gentlemen,” Koestner said. “You’re parents. The technology is not out of control. I know it feels like it though sometimes.”

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