Michael Bay’s post-“Transformers” action comedy “Pain & Gain” is a buddy comedy with three, not two, “buddies.” And every time you turn around, some minor supporting role is overloaded with big-name talent. That line “no expense was spared” comes to mind, and not in a good way.
So what could have been a tight, darkly comic thriller about three dopey Miami bodybuilders kidnapping a rich guy and making him sign over his properties to them because they’re not smart enough to see they could never get away with that becomes Bay’s version of “Blow,” a broad swipe at ’90s excesses, from self-help gurus to steroids.
It’s a “true” story, as the film keeps reminding us, about impatient self-help addict Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) who cons his ‘roid-ruined pal Adrian (Anthony Mackie) into a scheme to kidnap a faintly unsavory, nouveau-riche gym client (Tony Shalhoub) to make him sign over his home, his bank accounts and his businesses to them. When the tee-totaling, born-again ex-con Paul (Dwayne Johnson, a hoot) shows up, Danny figures the team is complete.
There’s a nervous, insistent entitlement to these three gym rats, who figure their workout ethic and formidable physiques make them “supermen” who “deserve better.”
Adrian’s need for money is built around what he’s lost by using steroids. Rebel Wilson (more overkill) is the nurse all too happy to restore him to, um, vigor.
Truthfully, “Pain & Gain” turns painful after the kidnapping goes down, even if we laugh at the ineptitude of Danny and his cohorts. “Nobody gets hurt” goes by the boards, and the violence will make you flinch.
For a movie as physically fit as this one wants to be, “Pain & Gain” is carrying way too much extra weight.