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Mark Fitzhenry
Tuesday, December 28, 1999 Page: 1B
WILKES-BARRE, Dec. 31, 2099 – As the 21st century draws to a close, I sit
here in my downtown office, gazing at an empty Public Square (it’s after 6
p.m., you know), reminiscing about another turbulent century.
The NHL’s decision to expand to Rio de Janeiro was a rousing success,
thanks to key negotiations by United Nations Secretary-General John Rocker.
The introduction of the double-forward pass was a scoring boon to the NFL. The
trap-door lane added suspense to NBA games. And college athletes stayed all
four years – even if it did take a $5,000 monthly salary to entice them.
I cannot get over the changes in Wilkes-Barre since Jean-Sebastian Aubin
became mayor in 2004. Red lights at key intersections last only four minutes.
Wilkes-Barre Memorial Stadium includes luxury boxes. And only 35 percent of
all school hirings have gone to relatives.
The Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins – top minor-league hockey affiliate of
the San Antonio Penguins – won 14 titles. Attendance at the Frank Tarnalicki
Center always led the North American And Some Of Greenland Hockey League,
despite the township’s $1 per cheer tax.
The Red Barons, desperate for a baseball championship, chose the Yankees as
their affiliate. Declaring he was “sick of this minor league free agent
crap,” George Steinbrenner stocked the Barons with major leaguers and won the
2005 Class Triple-A World Series.
Arena football lasted here for 14 seasons. The Wilkes-Barre Township Eagles
hosted 12 championship games, with each contest forfeited at halftime when the
township closed the arena over sewer issues.
King’s College, encouraged by 46 consecutive 5-5 seasons, made the jump to
Division I football and promptly won the IBM/Microsoft/Mimmo’s Pizza Keystone
State Bowl in Johnstown.
Wilkes University’s 112-game men’s basketball winning streak at the Marts
Center ended in 2018 – when the Colonels moved all home games to the
Tarnalicki Center.
In high schools, the Curry Township Bulldawgs won 41 state football
championships. Who can forget 2054, when a tailback from Toms River, N.J.,
joined the team two days before the playoffs and averaged three touchdowns a
game?
The Woodall quadruplets of Pittston won state wrestling titles at four
weight classes in 2027.
In 2040, the PIAA sponsored boys and girls field hockey, and five years
later added girls wrestling.
Women made greater strides, even though the WNBA had its first players
strike in 2019. Members of the national soccer and ice hockey teams became
household names. Women officiated NFL games, became NBA general managers and
coached NCAA men’s basketball teams.
Alas, problems from the 20th century continued. The average hockey salary
is $18 million. All seats in new stadiums include a $12 “waiter’s fee.”
Without a salary cap in baseball, the Yankees and Braves played in 99 of 100
World Series – the lone exception being the Red Sox-Cubs matchup of 2018,
which ended in a tie.
There is much promise heading into the 22nd century.
Joe Paterno says he has five more years of coaching left in his
173-year-old body.
Wilkes-Barre Township is considering shaving its amusement tax from 17
percent to 16.8 percent.
Personally, I’m going to enjoy Jan. 2, 2100 – the culmination of the first
Division I-A football playoff.
Mark Fitzhenry is a Times Leader sports writer.