>> YOU BETTER LIKE THIS SHOW: Time was, if some mentioned the words “theater,” and “Mike Tyson” in the same sentence, you’d expect them to be followed by “brawl,” “paramedic” and “head trauma.” But not anymore. Tyson’s a new man these days and the star of a one-man show called “Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth.” And he just so happens to be headed to the F.M. Kirby Center this Wednesday. The show starts at 7:30 p.m. and will be the best show you’ve ever seen. Completely wonderful. Better than anything ever! (See, Mike. I said good things. Don’t hurt me.)
>> PLAYOFF VETERANS: Quick quiz: In the 14 seasons since 1999, how many times have the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins failed to make the playoffs? … ARRRRRRR! Sorry. Thank you for playing. … The correct answer is TWO. (1999-00 and 2001-02) OK, OK, so 16 out of the 30 AHL team make the postseason, but it’s still a pretty good track record. If you’d like to cheer on the Pens in this year’s playoffs, they’ll be home against the Senators Thursday and Saturday. Both games start at 7:05 p.m.
>> I FEEL A BREEZE: There’s no easy way to say this, but Friday is “No Pants Day.” Yes. There is a day devoted to the public shedding of your lower undergarments. Now, I know what your saying, “OK, 5 Things guy. I’ve been taking my pants off in public for years and I usually end up in custody or in one of those special hospitals. How will Friday be different.” … Well, because this is an official holiday. Just produce a calendar, proudly point to May 3 and show those officers where it says “No Pants Day.” That oughta do it.
>> SOME SERIOUS METAL: Ahhh. To be Tony Stark. He’s a billionaire. A genius. A playboy. And he gets to canoodle with Gwyneth Paltrow. If it wasn’t for getting chased around by maniacal supervillains in robot suits, he’d pretty much have the life. Luckily, he put his genius and billionaireness to good use and invented his own robot suit to battle the bad guys. He IS Iron Man, after all. Stark suits up on screen for the fourth time this Friday when “Iron Man 3” opens. (See, he was also in “The Avengers” so that’s where the 4-3 thing comes in.)
>> THINK INK: Just for a second, stop reading this and turn to Page 6C. What’s that? You stopped reading a while ago? Nevermind. Just turn to Page 6C. Those are the comics. It’s a page you’ve probably read thousands of times, but did you ever stop to think about who draws them? Of course not. Well, this Sunday you have no more excuses. It’s Cartoonists Day, meant to celebrate the anniversary of the first color comic, “The Yellow Kid,” in 1895. And to appreciate those ink-stained artists who make us laugh everyday.