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KINGSTON — It’s 7 p.m. on a recent Wednesday — bed time for two of the youngest members of the Kaplan family.
Five-year-old Sofia is easy. Already wearing her unicorn pajamas, she hugs Rabbi Larry Kaplan and gives him a few kisses accented with a big, smacking noise that sounds like “mwah.”
“I love you,” she says. “I love you,” he replies.
With 2-year-old Carter, bedtime is more difficult.
“I want a doughnut, Abba,” he says, using the Hebrew word for “Daddy.”
But Kaplan, aka Abba, is firm. A carrot would be OK, but no doughnuts. “I don’t want you going to bed with a stomach ache.”
Knowing when to say yes and when to say no is all part of being a father, and the rabbi — spiritual leader of Wilkes-Barre’s Temple Israel — has more experience in that role than most. He is “Abba” to two biological children, three stepchildren, five adopted children and two soon-to-be-adopted children. Oh yes, and over the past few decades, he and his wife, Gerri, have cared for more than 70 foster children, some for a few days, some for a year or longer.
Of course, Larry couldn’t do this without Gerri. And, during a recent conversation with a reporter, the words from Proverbs 31, about a virtuous woman being more precious than rubies, sprang readily to the rabbi’s lips.
But in honor of Father’s Day, we’re focusing on the father of this often chaotic clan.
“How would you sum him up?” Gerri asked 15-year-old Bree.
“Awesome!” Bree answered.
Awesome Abba sat down to dinner one evening last week with 12 members of the family of 14 (two of the older kids were at work) and helped 4-year-old Ella, who sat next to him in a high chair, spoon the meal of chicken, couscous, applesauce and raw veggies into her mouth.
To anyone who is considering adopting or fostering a child, the rabbi has this advice: “Do it. Don’t look back. If anyone is lonely and wants to share a little bit, just do it. It’s been a blessing. Every day is blessed.”
Four-year-old Ella, with her special needs, and 15-year-old Bree, who is blind “have taught me so much,” he said. “They would have the most to kvetch about, but they’re always smiling. I’ve learned from them how to appreciate the good.”
Indeed, Bree is still excited about getting to meet Frankie Valli backstage when the singer recently performed at the F.M. Kirby Center.
“He kissed me right here,” she said, pointing to her cheek bone and grinning.
Not only a fan of Valli’s music, Bree also likes to dance. She got up after dinner, carefully felt the wall and kitchen counter so she wouldn’t bump into them and joyously displayed some vigorous steps — to the applause of her parents and siblings.
All of the children will be able to practice some Israeli folk dances this summer, thanks to a young woman who has come from Israel to teach at the JCC Rick Evans Day Camp.
The young woman, by the way, will dorm this summer in the Kaplans’ nine-bedroom household, where there seems to always be room for one more.
Gerri’s parents lived here for a time; so did Larry’s father. So did Gerri’s ex-husband, for several months when he was ailing and needed support in the final year of his life.
“I know it’s unusual,” Larry said. “But he needed somebody.”
As the family dinner hour continued, several conversations went on simultaneously. Out of the cacophony of voices, eldest daughter Dana Feigenblatt, 35, said she was 13 when her mother married Larry. At that age, she admitted, he had to win her over, which he did by helping her with homework and — in those pre-cellphone days — giving her her own phone line.
Twenty-one year old Ashley Kaplan, who was once a foster child who expected to stay one night and is now a permanent part of the family, helps a lot with the younger children. “She’s like an au pair,” Larry said.
But all of the older kids pitch in.
“They’ve changed diapers,” Larry said. “They’ve cleaned up throw-up.”
Those chores sound less than pleasant, but helping others is a mitzvah, Larry said, a grace that brings blessings to giver and receiver.
Sometimes, the rabbi said, he wishes he could give the children more.
“I can’t afford to give them fancy vacations. I can’t afford to give them fancy colleges. I can’t give each of them the attention I could give them if, let’s say, there were only half a dozen.”
But he and Gerri have given them love. And a home. And each other.
The group that gathered around the dinner table included 15-year-old Bree, 3-year-old Carter, 21-year-old Ashley, 5-year-old Sofia, 14-year-old Saraea, 9-year-old Jacob and 4-year-old Ella along with 31-year-old Dan, 25-year-old Nikki and 35-year-old Dana Feigenblatt plus Dana’s daughter, Maddie, who is almost 16 months old.
Two other sons, Ilan and Mikey, were at work, so they weren’t there for the family meal.
So, what does the rabbi want for every member of this large and loving tribe?
“I want them to grow up with a desire to help others,” Larry said. “And having a sense that God is watching over them.”
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