Sunday July 05, 2009 | 01:00 AM

Our epic “Plunder Dome” drama veered into farce this week as the two biggest plot lines collided in federal court.

On the one hand we had attorney Robert Powell and disgraced judge Mark Ciavarella blaming each other for their corruption convictions. On the other hand, felonious local businessman Robert Kulick testified that reputed mobster Billy D’Elia routinely met Ciavarella’s co-conspirator, disgraced judge Michael Conahan, for breakfast to discuss the fixing of court cases.

Where did these illicit trysts take place? Perkins.

What happened to the stereotypical smoke-filled corner of a little Italian restaurant? You might as well mob up over a McMuffin at McDonald’s.

Perkins certainly didn’t need this sort of notoriety. It gives new meaning to the chain’s catchphrase “Breakfast is just the beginning.” Suggested new slogan: “Perkins, a ‘family’ restaurant (wink, wink)”; or “What happens at Perkins stays at Perkins.”

There was a side show, as a county security guard testified she worked as D’Elia’s courthouse bagwoman, meeting him in the back parking lot and relaying envelopes to Conahan. “I really didn’t question it,” she told a reporter. “My job was just to deliver it.”

I appreciate that a lowly guard would just follow orders from a judge, but there’s a niggling idea that her job should have been to keep this stuff out of the building, not carry it in. More importantly, it shows Conahan’s brass while on the bench.

If he had a hint of shame, he would have told D’Elia to pass the envelopes in folded newspapers at Perkins.

Pointing fingers at each other

But the real farce came during the Powell/Ciavarella duel. In one courtroom, Powell admitted guilt but insisted he was not to blame, and that Ciavarella and Conahan blackmailed him. The next day in another courtroom, Ciavarella admitted guilt but insisted he was not to blame, calling Powell an “outright liar.”

Sure, Ciavarella admitted, he took hundreds of thousands from Powell in relation to PA Child Care, the private juvenile detention center Powell part-owned. But the money had nothing to do with all the kids Ciavarella, as juvenile judge, sent to PA Child Care. The judge’s only mistake was not telling the juvies there might be conflict of interest, and not reporting the income.

And sure, Ciavarella conceded, he took a bundle from developer Robert Mericle, who built PA Child Care, but Mericle told him it was just a “finder’s fee” for the jurist’s help in getting the facility built. And if Mericle (not charged with any wrongdoing) said it wasn’t a crime, who was Ciavarella to judge?

Oh, wait, he was a judge.

Besides, Ciavarella added, Conahan was the one who made the whole PA Child Care thing happen.

The biggest corruption scandal of a lifetime and this is what we get: A bunch of crooks standing in a circle pointing to the person next to them and saying “I’m guilty, but he’s to blame!”

Yet my favorite tidbit had nothing to do with the court testimonies. When I saw Powell’s pudgy, gray-haired head grinning (grimacing?) in our front page photo Thursday as he left the courthouse, I thought how much he’s changed since I dealt with him as Hazleton city solicitor in the 1990s. I looked through our archives for other pics (posted on my news blog at www.timesleader.com), and found one that listed him as president of the “Committee for Justice for All” in 2003.

The guy must order his breakfast cooked in an irony skillet.

About the Author

Mark Guydish covers education for the Times Leader. Reach him at (570) 970-7161 or mguydish@timesleader.com.

A West Hazleton native, I worked as a service technician repairing electronic mailing and shipping systems, a bike shop owner and an Emergency Medical Technician (among other jobs) before landing a reporter job at the Times Leader Hazleton Bureau in 1995. I started by covering primarily politics in Hazleton City and outlying municipalities, eventually became "social issues" team leader in the Wilkes-Barre office with the accent on education, and headed the Hazleton Bureau for a spell before returning to full-time reporting, my preferred position. I'm an avid cyclist and rode across the country in 1990, a trip of more than 5,000 miles from New Jersey to Seattle and down the coast to San Francisco. Years in the Boy Scouts made me a life long backpacker and camper, and I've yet to find a better way to enjoy the quiet lure of winter snow than cross country skiing.

Mark also writes a regular blog for timesleader.com.

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