You knew it was going to happen the moment the feds announced corruption charges against Luzerne County Judge Michael Toole. Everyone reached for wrenching wordplay. “It’s Toole’s Time” … “What a Toole! … “The wrong Toole for the job.” One local TV station actually went with “Toole Trouble.”

Personally, I proposed “Not the sharpest Toole in the shed,” but that’s too long to work as an eye-grabbing headline.

This is the third county judge charged, which makes it official. The U.S. Attorney is waging and winning a war of attrition. We only managed to elect two new judges this year, and he’s knocked three out of office. Add the fact that Judge Peter Paul Olszewski failed in his bid for retention and former Judge Ann Lokuta is fighting to reverse a misconduct ruling that bumped her off the bench, and we’ve lost half our 10 judges in one year.

The next time the judges meet “en banc,” they can do it in a broom closet. We’re rapidly reaching the point where, when President Judge Chester Muroski says (as he did Wednesday), “I met with my colleagues,” he’ll mean he looked in the mirror. At this rate, the courthouse will be “self-serve only” before 2012.

Toole is the 20th person nabbed by the FBI probe in this, our age of endless corruption. Talk of restoring public trust starts to sound like a stuck iPod skipping back to the same tune … for nine months. These days, when reporters ask County Commissioner Chairwoman Maryanne Petrilla for a sound bite, I expect to hear “Well, as I said the last 19 times ...”

I keep waiting for Luzerne County to become part of the common vernacular, a new word for a place or organization where accepting bribes is the primary source of income.

“Where did they get all that money?”

“I heard that they Luzerned it.”

Staying on bench a mystery

Frankly, I started Wednesday pondering why the county couldn’t readily provide the names of retirees who were paid more than $319,200 as consultants through the mysterious New York company, Continental Consultants Group. County Solicitor Vito DeLuca – who seems to be earnestly attempting to get to the bottom of this mess – said he’s trying to find out the names of the retirees. Seems they were identified by numbers on the Continental invoices.

Trying to identify them? When did this become an episode of “The Prisoner”? “Here’s your pay, number 6.” “Why, thank you, number 2.”

Who in their right mind pays people by their number without knowing the name behind it? That’s not just incompetent, it’s insane.

But then Toole torqued the whole day into grand farce – or outrage, depending on your mood. And it wasn’t just because he was the third judge charged, or because, yet again, those $160,000 judicial salaries proved to be a pauper’s pay driving the poor judges to lives of crime.

No, it was the fact that Toole had signed his plea agreement Sept. 25, yet remained on the bench issuing rulings and doling out his unique brand of impartiality for two months. I trust there was an excellent reason to let a judge admit he’s corrupt yet keep his robes, power and salary for nearly 10 weeks. I look forward to hearing it. As Desi Arnaz would put it if Lucy were the U.S. Attorney’s Office: “You’ve got a lot of splainin to do!”

Maybe, somehow, we needed to keep Toole on the bench in order to repair the system. Maybe he helped open the jammed door to expose other vile wrongdoing. If that turns out to be the case I’ve got the next headline:

“Fixing justice with a broken Toole.”

About the Author

Mark Guydish covers education for the Times Leader. Reach him at (570) 970-7161 or mguydish@timesleader.com.

A West Hazleton native, I worked as a service technician repairing electronic mailing and shipping systems, a bike shop owner and an Emergency Medical Technician (among other jobs) before landing a reporter job at the Times Leader Hazleton Bureau in 1995. I started by covering primarily politics in Hazleton City and outlying municipalities, eventually became "social issues" team leader in the Wilkes-Barre office with the accent on education, and headed the Hazleton Bureau for a spell before returning to full-time reporting, my preferred position. I'm an avid cyclist and rode across the country in 1990, a trip of more than 5,000 miles from New Jersey to Seattle and down the coast to San Francisco. Years in the Boy Scouts made me a life long backpacker and camper, and I've yet to find a better way to enjoy the quiet lure of winter snow than cross country skiing.

Mark also writes a regular blog for timesleader.com.

Archives

Taxpayers deserve transparent superintendent contracts

Computer glitch hits LCCC students

Market St. project: Let’s hope this train leaves the station MARK GUYDISH Commentary

NEWS BRIEFS

Science should be bedrock of Marcellus Shale debate Mark Guydish Commentary

Yet another sad lesson on how to milk the taxpayers Mark Guydish Commentary

NEWS BRIEFS

WBA School Board Meeting wasn't advertised, is reset for 8:30 a.m. Friday

Drop the juggling acts and really balance those budgets Mark Guydish Commentary

Endless denial sends judge to near eternity in prison Mark Guydish Commentary