Welcome race fans to NASCAR’s newest track: Public Square Motor Speedway.

It’s an exhilarating short course with no banking in the turns and pit row circling the entire span.

The inaugural race can be called the Farmers Market 500.

Other races can have local sponsors: Courthouse Corruption 500, Dangerous Roaming Dogs 250, and the Luzerne County Drug Task Force 200.

Why not have Monster Jam and demolition derbies?

If a car wrecks, we have City Wide proprietor Bob “Batman” Kadluboski and his blue-colored tow trucks and flat beds to clear the course.

Something tells me that Batman would cause a wreck, plowing his tow truck into a race car that made an illegal pass or got caught speeding on pit road.

I can imagine Batman giving an interview to ESPN.

“Why did you plow your tow truck into the race leader?” the race reporter would ask.

“Bing, Bam Boom, right in the kisser,” Batman would say. “He wasn’t getting away with it.”

Wilkes-Barre firefighters would be on standby to help those involved in crashes, only if they’re not busy responding to emergencies every hour.

Mayor Tom Leighton would actually have to hire more firefighters, say 17 per shift, if races are scheduled on Public Square Motor Speedway.

As NASCAR rules apply, race drivers involved in crashes are mandated to be taken to a medical facility.

We have two local hospitals of their choice: Wilkes-Barre General Hospital and Geisinger Wyoming Valley. We once had five local hospitals, but they’ve either closed or stopped offering emergency services.

I’m kidding of course, except for the lack of staffing for the city fire department and the declining number of hospitals.

With the anticipated opening of the Intermodal Center, which will relieve congestion and remove buses from Public Square, speeding -- which is certainly a problem now -- will get worse.

No flags for rough driving

Our Wyoming Valley forefathers designed Public Square in a time when horses were the primary means of transportation.

At one time, trolleys circled Public Square.

Public Square has four arteries that feed vehicles onto it.

Forget about the inner-most lane, the city turned that into a parking lot with a time limit that isn’t enforced.

Two lanes are designated for traffic. If a motorist entering from West Market Street needs to exit on East Market Street, and the same goes for South and North Main streets, the driver has a limited amount of time and space to merge into the center lane.

What usually happens, and it frequently happens to me, the driver entering Public Square cuts me off.

Many moons ago when I was cocky teenager, I did the cruising thing, joining hundreds of other teens driving around Public Square, over the Market Street Bridge into Kingston, only to turn around and do the same thing 20 more times.

A few weeks ago, I witnessed a motorist turn left onto Public Square.

Yes, a left.

I had to swerve to avoid a collision. So did the two drivers behind me.

The left-turn motorist had a New York license plate.

If there ever is such a thing as the Farmers Market 500, I would definitely attempt to qualify for the race.

But do I really need to qualify.

I drive on Public Square Motor Speedway a few times a day.

About the Author

Ed Lewis covers police news for the Times Leader. Reach him at elewis@timesleader.com.

Ed Lewis covers police for The Times Leader. A graduate of Hanover Area, he earned a bachelor’s degree in criminal justice from King’s College where he also minored in political science. He interned for Congressman Paul E. Kanjorski in Washington, D.C., while in college, and formerly was an assignment editor and managing editor before finding his niche covering the very busy police beat. His hobbies include lifting weights, kickboxing, reading, carpentry, gardening, model trains and sports, especially football.

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