>> ELEPHANT DAYS OF SUMMER: Hey, political junkies, do you want to do an experiment? When the GOP National Convention begins today, watch how the various TV networks cover it. On Fox News, you will see sun-drenched images of Mitt Romney holding an American flag and walking in slow motion through a wheat field – all accompanied by a stirring Aaron Copland soundtrack. Switch over to MSNBC, and you’ll get grainy surveillance footage of Romney watching TV with an Amish guy to the theme from “The Exorcist.” The political theater gets off to a delayed start, with a “soft” opening today. The “action" starts Tuesday and runs through Thursday.
>> THIS FESTIVAL GOES TO 11: After the down-home, country-rock vibe of The Peach Festival, Montage Mountain is ready to welcome in another day of eyeball-melting, chainsaw-wielding, head-banging acts when the aptly named Rockstar Energy Drink Uproar Festival hits the stage at 1 p.m. Tuesday. The Toyota Pavilion has already played host to the Vans Warped Tour and the Rockstar Mayhem Festival earlier in the year, so it’s a wonder it’s not been pulverized by now.
>> EWWWW. YUCK: Pity poor Mike Rowe. The TV personality started off as a clean-cut QVC pitchman, and now spends his time cleaning porta potties in Poughkeepsie. For which he is paid handsomely. … OK, maybe we shouldn’t feel so sorry for him. The host of Discovery’s “Dirty Jobs” will be up to his elbows in snakes and toads this week when a new episode of the show airs Wednesday at 8 p.m. His next horrid, disgusting feat? Clean out my sock drawer.
>> A NEW ERA: A football season unlike any other begins this Saturday in State College. The Penn State Nittany Lions will take the field, but it will be Bill O’Brien and not Joe Paterno who leads them out of the tunnel. There will be names on the uniforms and the knowledge no bowl game awaits the team at year’s end. The game, the season and the future of Penn State football begins at noon against Ohio University. ESPN has the coverage.
>> ORANGES ARE ORANGE …: Poetry and rhyme go together like cats and hats, muffets and tuffets, and foxes and sockses. That is, until now. This Saturday is No Rhyme (Nor Reason) Day, a celebration of all things rhymeless in the English language. If Sylvia Plath or Dylan Thomas had to ply their craft using the words bulb or purple, they’d have ended up in the bad poet’s society with William McGonagall, who, rumor has it, once injured himself trying to rhyme the word “scalp.” (That’s not true.)