Now that the votes are in for the final group of monikers still in the running to be placed next to Scranton/Wilkes-Barre's proud baseball name, the final verdict isn't just near, it's clear.
These six names stink.
C'mon, the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Blast?
This isn't some Euro soccer team.
Porcupines? Black Diamond Bears?
They sound too close to a couple of Lehigh Valley teams.
The Triple-A IronPigs already have pork sandwiches, so sorry Porcupines. And there was once a short-lived independent league team named the Lehigh Valley Black Diamonds. We're already trying to copy Lehigh Valley's stadium design, so can't we get a little bit more original with the team's nickname?
Fireflies, Pennsylvania's official state insect, would certainly do it.
But do we really want our baseball team named after a friendly little bug?
Since they promise to be more friendly to area fans, RailRiders kind of goes against that train of thought. Sounds like a team ready to hop on board and head out of town.
The last suggestion, Trolley Frogs might be neat. If anybody actually knew what a trolley frog was. Turns out its actually a mechanical part of a trolley, not a line of dancing frogs.
So while disdain for all those proposed nicknames dances through the head of most Northeastern Pennsylvania baseball fans, here are a few proposals people in the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre area have been twittering about.
How about The Potholes?
Everybody knows they've arrived in Northeastern Pennsylvania when their cars start colliding with those teeth-rattling craters carving up our roads. The name Potholes is almost synonymous with the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre area. Team officials can celebrate it by serving some beef, chicken or turkey pot pie at the ballpark. And just as a reminder of what our team represents, there's always annoying construction causing traffic delays slowing Interstate 81 traffic on the way to outside PNC Field in attempts to fix – what else – potholes.
Next up, you've heard of the Red Sox?
Well, we've got the National Laughing Stocks.
Call it a tribute to the team that can't find a home, even in it's own ballpark. What professional franchise – with a roster of players just a step away from the big leagues, no less – plays a full season on the road because its own stadium is undergoing renovation all summer? Why, the same team that was forced to play a few home games at Lehigh Valley a couple of years ago because nobody realized a drainage system built for artificial turf just might have problems when the surface was switched to natural grass. Laugh it up at the ballpark with a yearly comedian night, when the punchline always centers around which opposing stadium will become Scranton/Wilkes-Barre's home next?
Everyone's sure to feel right at home watching the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Grand Juries.
Heck, commissioners from both counties got caught up in corruption scandals and went straight to jail. It wouldn't take much investigating to know which area the Grand Juries represent. The players only ask one thing. Don't judge them by their record, but by performance they promise to keep clean.