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Last updated: February 20. 2013 4:13AM - 554 Views

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At one point, the writings of James Holeva became too hot for this publication.


The raunchy comedian‚??s column ‚??The Wingman Chronicles‚?Ě (which is now a novel available on Amazon and as an e-book) ran from late September of 2009 to March of the following year and was quickly banned due to the line-crossing content.


The Clarks Summit native overcame the slight hurdle and has since taken his act to the stage, touring in places like Chicago and New York. He also runs a blog (wingmanchronicles.wordpress.com) and has produced a TV pilot, which is currently being shopped to various networks.


‚??The Wingman,‚?Ě as Holeva is known, will bring his X-rated act to Arturo‚??s Restaurant and Underground Bar in Dupont for a Weekender Night Out on Feb. 2.


His shows are not for the faint of heart, performances during which, according to Holeva, anything can happen, like ‚??girls making out, showing their breasts, and a spanking encore.‚?Ě


We chatted with the comedian, a man who speaks of dating, sex, and relationships, but never politics because, ‚??I don‚??t want to give girls a desert crotch.‚?Ě



THE WEEKENDER: Where did this sense of humor, this point of view on dating and women come from?



JAMES HOLEVA: Life. The old adage is write what you know, and I always did. It‚??s my observations and experiences. Dates, for instance ‚?? girls want you to make a move. If you‚??re the nice guy who doesn‚??t, they don‚??t think you‚??re nice ‚?? they think you‚??re gay. A lot of guys wonder why they end up in the friend zone after taking a broad out a couple times and not trying anything. When she goes to the bathroom, she wants you to follow her in. Even if she turns you down, slaps you, and calls the cops, she‚??ll respect you for trying. As for sex, girls are torn between their sexual need to be treated like a whore and their emotional need to think too much about it. The key is to degrade her with class. I like to pull a girl‚??s hair, spank her, and call her a whore, then afterward we eat Chinese food and watch Netflix.



W: What are people‚??s reactions to your type of humor?



JH: People either love me or hate me. That‚??s how it‚??s always been. I have the greatest, most supportive, filthiest fans in the world, and they are amazing and always come to see me again and again. No matter how dirty I get, they ask me to be dirtier. But if you don‚??t like dirty stuff or get offended easily, I‚??m not for you. I have fans of all ages, races, and from all walks of life. At least 75 percent of my fans are women, and a lot of their husbands have a problem with me. They think just because their wife comes to my show I‚??m going to hookup with her. And that‚??s only the case like half the time. I might not even be attracted to her.


W: Your book synopsis says you are as classy as you are crass ‚?? what makes you classy?



JH: I‚??m not ‚??The Situation;‚?Ě I‚??m Sinatra. I‚??m a high class player with the balls to say what I want and make a move. Balls are the key to wooing a girl, but I‚??m not all about fist-pumping, keg stands, and video games. I woo a lady ‚?? dinner, drinks, open the door, show her off, and then bang her in the finest bathroom stall in town. What can I say? I‚??m a gentleman.



W: As far as sexual endeavors go, you seem to have quite a few covered. Anything left to check off that list?



JH: Banging an actress in the bathroom at the Oscars. After I win, of course. Oh, and at the Emmys, since I see my book as a TV series.



W: Describe your ideal woman.



JH: I‚??m usually into flashy, egotistical, narcissistic broads so we could fight over who could see the mirror during sex, but otherwise I like a girl I have something in common with ‚?? like picking up other chicks for us to hook up with. Seriously, I obviously have to find her attractive, otherwise I won‚??t be able to provide her the best sexual experience, but someone I‚??m actually spending time with outside of the bedroom, backseat, or bathroom stall must be passionate about something, as well as funny and fun to be around. She also has to enjoy when I harass her and give it right back to me. She must be someone I could have fun with doing absolutely nothing.



W: Any advice for guys looking to have the swagger you do?



JH: Balls are the key to p---y, so if you stop thinking so much and at least fake like you have some, you‚??ll enjoy life a lot more. Remember, women are like dogs, the way they smell fear. Broads want you to hit on them and are offended if you don‚??t. If you strike out with one, there‚??s another who‚??s hotter, drunker, and sluttier on the next bar stool. Don‚??t ever let anybody stifle your adventure. And a good spanking goes a long way, which is why I spank a girl onstage during my show. Because I care about my fans.




‚??The Wingman‚?Ě James Holeva: Feb. 2, seating 9 p.m., show 9:30, Arturo‚??s Underground Bar & Eatery (140 Main St., Dupont). $20 at the door, online at wingmanarturosnepa.eventbrite.com.



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