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Thursday, March 06, 2003 Page: 1D
Dear Mr./Ms. Pierogi: My boyfriend and I are extremely close and are planning
our future together, but he has a “friend” I really don’t approve of. I have
expressed my concern to him, but I think he doesn’t want to believe me. This
“buddy” of his, I believe, could very easily hurt my boyfriend without even
feeling regret. What can I do to protect him without seeming controlling? He
knows I’m only looking out for him, but I need more help.
Protective in Plymouth
Ms. Pierogi: If a lesson is to be learned here, it will be learned the hard
way unfortunately. You can do precious little, dear dame, besides hope for the
best. You’ve told your boyfriend you feel uneasy about his “friend,” and I
hope you’ve explained why as logically as possible. Summarize your case one
more time and promise your boyfriend the subject is off the table. Then leave
it off the table. If your man respects your opinion, he will at the very least
set it up in a tidy apartment in the back of his mind. Then he’ll be a wise
landlord and visit the opinion occasionally. In other words, he might not
admit you could have a point, but he’ll be on the lookout for signs you do. If
and when those signs come, he should be less reluctant to cut the friendship
ties that bind. For now, though, zip it.
Mr. Pierogi: Tell him once, you’re supplying information. Tell him twice,
you’re showing concern. Tell him three times, you’re a nag. Don’t be a nag.
You’ll only push him closer to his “buddy.” Though your question doesn’t
seem to recognize this fact, you could be – gasp – wrong. If you keep on about
this guy and he turns out to be a good friend, you’ll look like a jealous
doofus.
Dear Mr./Ms. Pierogi: In response to the lady who wants to wear jean shorts
swimming: There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, since I had two children
I have always worn a pair of cutoff Levi’s over my swimsuit. I have tried all
kinds of swimsuits, such as sarongs, skirted ones and one-pieces, and found
that jean shorts (with a waist) make me look less wide and my midsection
slimmer. Swimming in cutoffs is not restricting at all. After a few times, the
denim becomes faded and more comfortable. I would agree not to wear a T-shirt
with wet denim, but how about a bikini top or a sports bra? Also, Mr. Pierogi
should give birth before he advises women about how they should feel about
their bodies after childbirth.
Ms. Pierogi: Fashion is so subjective, no? I still say jeans were not
designed for swimming and now add that neither were sports bras, especially
with so many other options available. As far as the bikini top, it’s a bit
revealing – no? – for a woman whose main concern was covering up?
Mr. Pierogi: Whatever works for you works for me. I always advise women
(and men) to feel good about themselves if at all possible and try to give
them reasons to. Readers who are mad at me because I advise people to feel
good about themselves and because I don’t adhere to the “waifish teen”
theory of female figures should stop worrying about their bodies and have
their heads examined.
Write to the Pierogies at pierogi@leader.net or 15 N. Main St.,
Wilkes-Barre, PA 18711.