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By TERRIE MORGAN-BESECKER tmorgan@leader.net
Monday, March 10, 2003 Page: 1A
KINGSTON – The tales of drug-addicted infants and abused and neglected
children had begun to wear on Rabbi Larry Kaplan.
A two-year member of Luzerne County Children and Youth’s advisory board, he
had heard one heartbreaking story after another, and listened as supervisors
described the frustration of the never-ending battle to find foster families.
“I’d come home from these meetings and I’d be depressed,” the longtime
spiritual leader said. “I did not understand why more families did not want
to be foster families. I also questioned why more Jewish families were not
foster families.”
When he posed that question to his Temple Israel congregation in September,
he knew there was just one way to answer it.
“I wanted to be able to teach the congregation by example,” he said.
In October, he and his wife, Gerri, both 42 and the parents of five
children, became parents again through Luzerne County’s foster care program.
“I got so involved with these children. I realized their futures were at
stake and I came to realize how important foster care was,” Rabbi Kaplan
said.
The first foster child, a 1-year-old male, came to their family in October.
The couple stresses the word “family,” because it truly has been a team
effort that includes children, Dana, 20, Daniel, 17, Nicole, 11, and Micah, 6,
as well as Gerri’s parents, all of whom live with the couple in their modest
but comfortable home on Ridge Avenue. Rabbi Kaplan also has another son from
his first marriage, Ilan, 14, who lives with his mother in Philadelphia.
The children were extremely excited about becoming a foster family, so much
so that it caused some conflict, the couple said.
“The biggest problem we had when we got our first baby is the kids were
fighting over who would feed him, who would hold him, who would play with
him,” Rabbi Kaplan said.
“We had to create a schedule,” Gerri Kaplan said.
The boy remained with the Kaplans until just before Christmas, when he was
placed with a biological family member.
The separation was difficult to handle, they said, but the loss was filled
by a now 6-month-old female they received in November, and the arrival of a
now 2-month-old female in February.
The Kaplans don’t know how long the infants, who are from different
biological families, will remain with them. They have not discussed adopting
the children, seeing their roles as temporary caregivers.
“Our job is to help get the kids in good shape, to fill them with love and
lots of kisses and hugs, and then let go,” Rabbi Kaplan said.
The couple credits their congregation and their family for providing
immense support.
“People can’t believe we’re doing it. They treat us like heroes. We don’t
feel like heroes,” Rabbi Kaplan said. “It’s not the huge undertaking people
think it is.”
That doesn’t mean there aren’t some trying moments. Both infants have been
colicky – a condition characterized by lots of crying – and the 2-month-old
has her nights and days mixed up, meaning many a sleepless night for the
couple.
The family also has had to adjust their busy lives. Rabbi Kaplan serves a
large congregation, while Gerri Kaplan is a part-time principal at the
synagogue’s school. It has meant some sacrifices, but the rewards have been
equally great, they said.
“You come home and you’ve had a tough day and you see a baby’s smile, it’s
wonderful,” Rabbi Kaplan said.
The experience also has taught their children invaluable lessons, the
couple said.
“Our kids have developed a sense of responsibility I don’t think they
would have gotten at their age,” Rabbi Kaplan said.“You have a teenager who
wants to be in their own world and not even take the trash out. All of a
sudden he’s changing diapers and loving it.”
Rabbi Kaplan frequently talks about the family’s experience with his
congregation, hoping to convince more families to become foster parents. He’s
had some success, he said, noting one family is now looking into the foster
care program, although they have not yet committed to it.
He said he’s thankful to his wife and family for agreeing to make the
commitment.
No thanks needed, said Gerri Kaplan.
“This is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done,” she said. “When you
see what these kids were like when we got them, and then see what they’re like
when they leave, it’s amazing.”
Terrie Morgan-Besecker, a Times Leader staff writer, may be reached at
829-7179.