Click here to subscribe today or Login.
Thursday, March 13, 2003 Page: 1D
Dear Mr./Ms. Pierogi: There is a dog owner in my neighborhood who
constantly allows his dog to leave me an unwelcome present on my lawn. The
problem is I can’t catch the pooch in the act. How do I get this guy to go
somewhere else or at least clean up after his furry fertilizer spreader?
Don’t Tread on Me, Kingston
Ms. Pierogi says: When it comes to doggies, I have little problem with
Number 1, as long as the deposit is made in the proper bank, i.e. the grass or
dirt and not, say, on my car tires. In my neighborhood dwells a pooch who,
personable as he is, refuses to accept that the marking on my left front tire
is, in fact, a Firestone logo and not a little canine-shaped restroom one. My
issue, of course, is with the pup’s master, who stands by and whistles while
Rufus or whatever the heck his name is lets loose.
Like you, I’ve also not caught my offender in the act. (Eyewitnesses,
baby.)
I do hope you’re certain you’ve flagged the correct dog. If so – and this
is assuming you’ve already ruled out the simple, direct approach of talking to
your neighbor – post a security sign in your yard, advising ne’er-do-wells,
including the canine kind, that a camera is recording on-premises activity.
Doesn’t much matter if one really is. I’d wager nasty neighbor will steer
nervy mutt elsewhere.
Mr. Pierogi says: Forgoing the question “How do you know it’s this dog if
you can’t catch him in the act?” I’ll accept your premise and say,
“Rebellion is the only answer.” Just as fire must be fought with fire, poop
must be fought with poop. I suggest a 50-pound bag of manure trowel-spread on
the man’s lawn to read “Don’t tread on me.” Also, a chalk outline of a dog
on your driveway, reminiscent of a film-noir murder scene, would help get the
message across.
Dear Mr./Ms. Pierogi: I’m sure your words and information go a long way.
I’m a widower and can do my own baking and cooking. I’m also a diabetic and
like my sweets now and then. What gets me is this: All fruit drinks and cake
mixes are loaded with sugar. It would be great to be able to add our own
sweetener to cake mixes and juices. I’m sure a word from you would go a long
way.
Harry A., Dallas
Ms. Pierogi says: I feel your pain, sir, but my name’s Ms. Pierogi, not Dr.
Pierogi. I certainly have seen plenty of sugar-free this and that on
supermarket shelves, but I respectfully defer to a good nutritionist on this
one.
Mr. Pierogi says: Finally, an easy one. Cake mixes are merely a compendium
of simple ingredients found in any kitchen, as you’ll see if you read them.
Buy a simple baking cookbook and go from scratch, using the appropriate amount
of sugar substitute to sweeten. One word of caution: A baking recipe that
calls for yeast may need sugar to feed that yeast (breads especially), so be
careful.
As for fruit drinks, most have added sugar but many straight juices do not.
Also, think about a cheap juicer, but do check with a doctor and make sure the
natural sugars in, say, apples, will not harm you.
Write to the Pierogies at pierogi@leader.net or 15 N. Main St.,
Wilkes-Barre, PA 18711.