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By LANE FILLER
lfiller@leader.net
Friday, March 14, 2003 Page: 3
“Beware the Ides of March.”
It’s the warning Julius Caesar received before his murder, according to
William Shakespeare, and it’s the warning one should keep in mind as the
annual St. Patrick’s Day revelry begins in earnest.
The Ides of March is the 15th of the month – tomorrow that is – and bad
things have been known to happen on that day.
Caesar, of course, was killed by his closest associates, including best
friend Brutus. St. Patrick’s Day, which will be celebrated in most locales
tomorrow, also is a good time to keep an eye on those closest to you – the
ones buying you shots, claiming to be sober after 16 beers and telling you
your spouse won’t mind if you’re a little (three days) late getting home.
Odds are, St. Patrick never imagined he would become the patron saint of
wobbly excess. After all, his main claim to fame is bringing Christianity to
Ireland, not the invention of green beer.
Nevertheless, the day of his death has come to promise a party second only
to New Year’s Eve in debauchery, drinking and dumb decisions. Also funny hats,
green clothing and corned beef and cabbage.
There are two big parties in the area this year, and hundreds across the
country. Boston and New York’s parades are simply huge, while Savannah, Ga.,
has the largest “day-of” celebration in the United States, to take place
Monday.
Here, revelers have their choice between Wilkes-Barre’s fairly tame
festivities and Scranton’s much larger parade.
Wilkes-Barre’s 23rd annual St. Pat’s parade will step off at 10 a.m. on
South Main Street and continue around Public Square. Those looking for a
little heavenly guidance beforehand, or a good stomach-coating meal, would be
wise to check out the 8:30 a.m. Mass at St. Patrick’s Church on Parrish
Street.
The Mass is organized by Jim Gallagher of the Ancient Order of Hibernians.
Said Gallagher, “This is a newer tradition we’ve been trying to instill in
Wilkes-Barre for about the last five years, to remind people of the religious
aspects of St. Patrick’s Day. It doesn’t rival the Scranton Mass at St.
Peter’s Cathedral, but it’s growing.”
A continental breakfast will be offered, along with the opportunity to pray
for guidance, salvation or hydration, depending on one’s plans for the rest of
the day.
Those who aren’t interested in the drinking aspect of the holiday can stick
around St. Patrick’s for a ham-and-cabbage dinner from 11:30 a.m.-4 p.m. A
bake sale and instant bingo also are planned.
Last year’s parade in Wilkes-Barre drew an estimated 6,000 people, and this
year, assuming the weather is as nice as predicted (sun with a high near 50
degrees), should be even larger. The focus is on family fun early, but the
bars on and around Public Square are ready to rock for those who so choose.
Scranton’s 42nd annual parade is a larger and louder affair, and last year
drew about 70,000 people. In addition, Scranton will have an afternoon and
evening party from 11 a.m.-6 p.m. at the Scranton Cultural Center, complete
with Irish entertainment, food and beverages.
Scranton’s parade will start on the 300 block of Wyoming Avenue and
continue to the Lackawanna County Courthouse.
If you don’t want your St. Patrick’s Day to turn disastrous, a few simple
guidelines can be followed. “Stay home and work on the lawn,” is one.
“Catch up on televised sporting events” is another.
But if you are going out on the town, steps can be taken to ensure a safe
and jail-free holiday.
Here are a few, garnered from local mixologists, drinkers and
ne’er-do-wells. While one or two folks offered opinions but not their names,
most were happy to be known as founts of party-survival wisdom.
“Don’t be a hero,” one advice-giver said. If your normal drinking regimen
is three beers after dinner and before bed, a 12-hour binge is going to
deliver a crushing blow to your central nervous system. Play within yourself.
“Drink what you would drink on a normal day,” said Michael Anderson, who
owns a carpet cleaning business in Wilkes-Barre. “If you go out on a limb,
that’s when you get in trouble.”
“Don’t drive” is an obvious piece of counsel.
Seriously, if someone told you the cost of a parade ticket was $10,000,
would you attend? It could cost you at least that much if you convince
yourself you’re OK to drive after nine “leprechaun” shooters, seven beers
and a Jagermeister. Call a cab, call a friend, call your mother, call your
daughter, but don’t get behind the wheel. At press time, the Ramada Inn on
Public Square still had available rooms, so look at that option if necessary.
“Don’t believe your friends” is not so obvious but standard.
Unless he or she has been named designated driver and actually abstained
from drink, your best friend is not fine to drive. If he matches you glass for
glass, then says, “I drive better when I’ve been drinking,” immediately take
his keys and melt them down into a cute shamrock. If your friends actually are
better drivers after drinking, don’t ride with them even when they’re sober.
“Hydration is key.” This advice comes from longtime party professional
Dan Sachan of Harveys Lake. Drink a glass of water between alcoholic
beverages. It will slow down your consumption and help prevent the kind of
crippling hangovers that make people beg the Lord to take them to their final
resting place. If you don’t want your (nearly) final resting place to be the
porcelain floor of your bathroom, water is a must.
Matt Migliore, who bartends at the North Main Street watering hole The
Saloon, implores you to “Eat. It’s the most important part of `Eat, drink and
be merry.’ After swallowing 11 beers (approximately one gallon of liquid) your
tummy will feel full. It’s not, and if you don’t eat, the stomach-acid fairy
will come a’callin’.”
John Segear serves the drinks at Hottle’s Restaurant on South Main Street,
and his advice centers on food, water and aspirin.
“If you know you’re going to drink a lot, eat a real meal before you go
out. Also, when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, start mixing in glasses of
water, and don’t forget to take aspirin before you hit the sack.”
Debra Petroski is the dependable day-time bartender at Keenan’s Irish Pub
on North Main, and her advice is to pretend.
“O’Douls and Coors non-alcoholic are available, and when you pour them
into a green cup, they look just the same as real beer,” she said. “If you
get too good a buzz going, move to one of those to stay sane.”
Well-armed with these guidelines, you are ready to imbibe, if not
responsibly, then survivably.
Here are just a few of the parties in and around Wilkes-Barre tomorrow:
The Ramada Inn on Public Square will have a DJ in Keenan’s Irish Pub and
the Hooley Boys in the ballroom. There will be a free hot food buffet and
sodas for those who pay the $10 admission, with children under 10 allowed for
free. There is no cover charge at Keenan’s, and both parties offer a cash bar.
Gonda’s, a bar and food emporium at 111 N. Main St. in Wilkes-Barre, is
having a special 11 a.m.-1 p.m. happy hour with $1 pints, $3 Guinness pints
and green beer. They also will offer a corned-beef sub special.
Senunas Bar and Grill, at 133 N. Main St., will open its doors for
revelers at 10 a.m. with drink specials early and late. Also on tap: Ham and
cabbage, Guinness stew, and corned beef and cabbage.
O’Hops and Barleys at 131 Main St. in Luzerne features a slight name
change (the O’) for St. Patrick’s Day, as well as drink specials and
giveaways. Killian’s on tap is one of their Irish innovations, along with
McSorley’s, brought to us by the oldest continually operating bar in America,
the Irish-American McSorley’s in New York.
Also of note: Karaoke at Jim McCarthy’s Tavern on the Hill at East
Northampton and Sherman streets, the 7 a.m. opening at Murray’s Inn at 290 S.
Pennsylvania Blvd. and the 7 a.m. “Kegs and Eggs” breakfast at Beer Boys, at
176 N. Washington St.
Lest we forget, the actual St. Patrick’s Day is Monday, and many
establishments are offering specials that evening. In particular, The
Staircase’s 17-cent drafts, $1.50 drinks, DJ and live band promise a good
time. The Staircase is on South Township Boulevard in Pittston Township.