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Q: I’m not trying to be rude, but why is it when a couple are finished with their love jones, the lady likes the guy to mmm … just like lay on top of them when they could be outweighed by, oh, say 20 pounds? I mean that’s dead weight. I like to support myself a little so I’m not crushing my partner… does that provide security or something like that for the woman?
A Mia: Er, I don’t know about that. I’m not into postcoital squashing. But maybe this is your girl’s way of feeling extra close. Lucky you.
Steve: Be careful out there! The male orgasm is accompanied by the release of endorphins, which relax the body and briefly cause drowsiness, which is why many men fall asleep, particularly if the lovemaking comes at bedtime after a day of hard work. Thus a very large man could theoretically fall asleep on top of a very small woman and suffocate her. So size does matter. As for how common this behavior is, I couldn’t find any surveys, but the variety of sexual likes and dislikes is infinite and no two people are identical in their desires.
Q: I am a 23-year-old male who has been dating a 20-year-old female. We just met in May. Now she is talking about marrying me and having kids. I love her, but I feel things are just moving way too fast. She is bisexual and it’s not a problem. However, she wants to bring a lady in that I do not like. Recently, we argue and fight a lot. I am kind of not in love with her much anymore. However, I do not want to see her get hurt or try to hurt herself if I try to break up with her. She is a great girl. It is just that she is moving way too fast for me. Please help me do what’s right so that she does not get hurt. Thank you so much.
A Steve: To quote the eminent philosopher Nick Lowe, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. There are so many red flags here, the chances of this working out are very low. Breaking up is the right thing to do, but there’s no way to do it without her getting hurt. Just give it to her straight and don’t back down.
Mia: Steve’s right. You shouldn’t be talking about marriage so soon. Dating is supposed to be about having fun and getting to know each other — not arguing and fighting like old married folks on the verge of divorce. Besides, since you’re already not getting along and she wants to bring in a woman you don’t like, what is there to discuss? You know the right thing to do. Man up and tell her that you want out of the relationship. Don’t be a jerk about it, though. Let her down gently, but make sure you do it before those kids she wants to have start coming on the scene and you wind up a baby daddy.
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