The Winner In The Loser

SANDRA SNYDER EDITOR MOUNTAINTOP LEADER
Tuesday, January 25, 2000     Page: 2

The winner in the loserPity the man. And cheer him, too. Did you all catch
that poor guy on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” the other night, the one
who actually got through on the telephone line, survived the preliminary
questioning, earned an invitation to New York City and then, by putting his
four items in order correctly and more quickly than his competitors, finally
made it to the single seat across from Regis Philbin only to go down in flames
on the $100 question? And he was so confident, so ready to roll. What a
travesty. Buddy, if no one’s told you this yet, you’re all right in my book.
You’re not an idiot because you didn’t know what Little Jack Horner pulled out
of his Christmas pie, and I think you got a raw deal anyway. I mean, come on.
For anyone else the options never would have included a blackbird, right? I
can see the list now. What did Jack Horner pull out of his pie: a) a plum b) a
bar of soap c) a hood ornament or d) a mouse pad? That’s the way it usually
goes, isn’t it? The beginning questions, by design, are laughable. So what’s
the deal with this one? What kind of sadistic writer would throw a blackbird
into the mix on a $100 question knowing full well that four and 20 blackbirds
were baked in a different pie? Tough break. And Regis made the poor guy’s
pain just a little bit worse by practically chasing him off the stage when he
tried to explain his thinking. Isn’t life cruel sometimes? You’re totally,
completely, 100 percent ready for something, then bam! You get the rug pulled
out from under you, and you fall flat on your face. After you dust yourself
off, you wonder what just hit you or what you did to deserve this anyway. Then
you start to replay the fateful moment in your mind, asking yourself a string
of what-ifs and wondering what you might have done to change the outcome.
Here’s my answer: not a blessed thing. I wish I could meet Mr. Blackbird, as
I’ll call him, and tell him what I’ve finally come to accept: Failure is
terribly underrated. Please, Mr. B., know this and let it ease your mind. The
world is with you here, at least anyone in it that has an ounce of heart. I
can’t count the number of times I’ve been wholly ready to do something, handle
something, face something or someone, whatever, but turned into a Popsicle
when the spotlight came on. Sometimes, for unexplainable reasons, we just
shout out blackbird when we mean plum. If there’s one favor we can all do
ourselves in these cases, though, it’s hold our heads high and move on
graciously. After Mr. Blackbird slumped off the stage, Regis said something
simple yet so broadly applicable: “This isn’t as easy as it looks. Sometimes
the questions just don’t match up with what you know.” Ain’t that the truth?
As the dejected contestant exited the grand stage while Lord knows how many
watched and shook their heads, a big goose egg flashed before his face.
“Total prize money: $0!” I couldn’t see him, but if that guy walked away
with his chin up, he deserved a second flash in my book: “Total points in
honor: One million!” Ah, life. Sometimes its questions just don’t match up
with what we know. Sandra Snyder is the editor of the Times
Leader-Mountaintop. Reach her at 831-7383.