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Jack Charest
Sunday, January 30, 2000     Page: 1E

I dearly hope not too many of you readers missed the Times Leader article
in the Dec. 31st issue of The Guide supplement.
   
Not getting into the office very often, I missed the action, but I assume
the entire editorial staff of the paper gathered to give birth to year 2000
suggestions for things that would improve life here in Northeastern
Pennsylvania. The result: a compendium of significant and thoughtful ideas.
   
Many of their ideas call for comments, even embellishment. Permit me.
    Right off the bat … as you might expect … 6 – Free Beer.
   
7 – Free Pretzels. Well, of course.
   
Moving on. 10 – A real Mexican restaurant. Excuse me, but I am forced to
ask, how many of these editors and writers have been to Mexico to try real
Mexican restaurants? I’ll take the local Chi-Chi’s. Chi-Chi’s will not give
you Montezuma’s revenge.
   
44 – Oh, yeah. Positive here. The almost-empty West Side Mall turned into a
sports facility. I live in the mall vicinity, and many times have visualized
it as containing an Olympic-sized HEATED pool and indoor tennis courts.
   
59 – Less grousing by old people.
   
60 – Less grousing by young people.
   
61 – Less grousing by newspaper people.
   
I disagree here. Let us not forget most everything worthwhile starts with a
grouse. I don’t like pickled pigs feet. I grouse, and for dinner I get served
a steak. Milady doesn’t like strong, sweaty odors. She grouses, and I take a
bath. So it goes. Let’s be careful about not grousing.
   
Oh yes, I forgot. If we eliminate grousing, what would you find in the
newspapers! All ads and the comics. Would you like that? Number 120 is a plea
for unity between north and south Luzerne County. As a former resident of
Hazleton, I remember this justifiable gripe. Let’s all remember Hazleton is
part of our cozy little county union.
   
191 – Wow! This time our staff suggests Free Pizza.
   
Will somebody please feed this gang?
   
Just kidding. Most of our staff was just kidding when they turned in their
suggestions. I hope.
   
But, it’s a good idea. How about the same kind of brainstorming for other
holidays.
   
Valentine’s Day is coming up.
   
Maybe we should turn our editorial staff lose on love? For starters, they
could ask questions like: As a little kid in the early grades, do you remember
another little boy/girl you were interested in? How about your first real
date? One of the proms? Or your first real love? Or anything else about love.
   
If you staff folks need any more help, give me a call. I’m in the phone
book.
   
Jack Charest’s “Thoughts for Grown-Ups” appears on Sundays in the Times
Leader.