NEPA Sharks: Company helps owners take care of pet’s health issues

By Marcella Kester - For Times Leader
Jeff Guse, of Asspressions, makes his pitch at the recent NEPA Sharks event at The Woodlands Inn in Plains Township. Guse markets a product that helps owners of pets with anal gland issues. - Fred Adams | For Times Leader

PLAINS TWP. — Jeff Guse was feeling optimistic about competing at the first-ever NEPA Sharks contest at The Woodlands Inn earlier this month.

But then again, he’s already auditioned in front of the real “Sharks” at an open call in New York City against hundreds of other applicants.

The Dunmore native was one of those competing at the local event based on ABC’s “Shark Tank,” pitching his business model in hopes of winning $5,000.

The event was put on by Kingston firm Golden Mile Funding LLC and the Times Leader Media Group.

Guse began his business, Asspressions, last year due to health issues with some family pets. With no real alternatives, Guse decided to take care of them himself — not realizing just how common that problem was for pet owners.

Coming from a health care background specializing in ultrasounds and urodynamics, Guse decided to use his knowledge to care for his dog, Starla, who suffers from chronic anal gland issues. He was once again faced with the same issue after his son adopted a dog that also had the problem.

In no time, what started as a helpful joke turned into a prospective business.

“I officially started my online business in September 2017,” he said. “As a joke, I put together a ‘kit’ which contained funny instructions and sent it to (my son) so he, too, could use it. One of his friends saw the kit and asked if I’d make one up for him, because his dog also had the same problem … and the idea of the PAGE System was born.”

PAGE, or Pet Anal Gland Expression, is a kit that “includes all materials necessary for expressing and disposing of anal gland secretions in a quick and contained system,” according to the business’ website.

While Guse has been able to reach a wide audience through social media, he’s been struggling with converting those views into dollars.

If he would’ve won, he would’ve put the $5,000 prize toward marketing his product and better communicating the benefits of his system to an audience of millions in need.

Win or lose, Guse said the process of starting Asspressions has earned him a newfound knowledge of business — all while working his regular nine-to-five.

“I believe every pet parent has the obligation of being responsible toward the health and well-being of their pet. Your pet trusts you more than anyone else in the world. So, if your pet has anal gland issues, why wouldn’t you want to be the one to take care of it yourself?,” said Guse. “Asspressions and the PAGE System will save every pet parent time, money, and aggravation if they have a dog or cat with anal gland issues.”

Find out more about Asspressions on YouTube or at Asspressions.com

Jeff Guse, of Asspressions, makes his pitch at the recent NEPA Sharks event at The Woodlands Inn in Plains Township. Guse markets a product that helps owners of pets with anal gland issues.
https://www.timesleader.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/web1_shark_bait2_faa.jpgJeff Guse, of Asspressions, makes his pitch at the recent NEPA Sharks event at The Woodlands Inn in Plains Township. Guse markets a product that helps owners of pets with anal gland issues. Fred Adams | For Times Leader

By Marcella Kester

For Times Leader

Name: Jeff Guse, CAO

Hometown: Dunmore

Business: Asspressions LLC