Tell Giselle: Losing one’s billfold along with one’s naiveté

Here is something that I was told that is worth using this space for:

This month a family member, who is now in her eighth decade, was out and about shopping, something she frequently does with enthusiasm. Due to some serious physical challenges, she qualified for a disabled placard for her car. This card was hanging from her rearview mirror, when she had entered the clothing store.

It was still light out when she returned to her car in the outdoor parking lot. As she was backing out of her spot, she noticed a man behind her car insistently waving, and also pointing to her right rear tire. She told me, “He was a very ordinary looking person, not scary at all.”

She thinks he may have been 30 or 40 or 50, you get the idea. She really doesn’t have any idea how old he was. What she does recall is that he had on sunglasses and a baseball cap, and appeared to not have a grasp of the English language. Still, he was expressive enough, with what she says she thought was a warning that she may have had a flat tire.

She got out of her car, leaving the driver door open, and went to peer down at her tire. That is when she noted some green goopy stuff smeared on the tire. She may have remarked to the man, or even thought to herself, that she must have run over something to cause the mess.

What happens next in this cautionary tale is quite surprising.

He hands her some paper towel.

And she actually takes it.

Then she bends down and begins to wipe and wipe and wipe the tire.

Now, when you give this a few nanoseconds of thought, you may ask yourself as I did, why didn’t he just offer to wipe the tire for her? Clearly, she looks like an older senior citizen, so that would have been the respectfully appropriate gesture of kindness toward an old woman in that situation. Am I right?

Ahhhh, but he was part of the robbery.

While she was bent over wiping away, someone else who was participating in this crookery party was able to complete his or her part of the scheme. While she was distracted busily cleaning away, the partner to the crime had leaned into the front seat area where the purse was sitting, and quickly removed her billfold.

By the time she was finished wiping the tire, the man who had provided the paper towel was nowhere to be seen.

She got back in her car, continued on with her errands, going to another couple of places. None had required a charge card so she was clueless that she had just been the victim of a robbery.

It was only later that evening, when she began getting calls and texts from the credit card company’s fraud alert division, that she learned that someone had been trying to use her credit card to make purchases for computer items at the Apple store. She was informed that more than one attempt had been made. Fortunately, the several thousands of dollars in charges had been denied for those transactions.

Only then did she look in her purse to discover that her credit card billfold was not there.

But that was not the only thing that was stolen. She had her social security card in that same billfold. Gone, and now perhaps in the hands of someone who is trying to steal her identity and trying to apply for other cards or loans.

What happened subsequent to the robbery is exhausting to even think about having to do, but must be done. The police were called first. Then she began the arduous task of contacting all the credit card companies she has a credit card with, and notifying all the three major credit reporting companies: Equifax, Experian, TransUnion. She was also advised to report her missing social security card to that agency.

The cautionary tale is a bittersweet one in that some of those from the much older generation often are a bit more trusting. This is in part because many of them, this family member included, grew up during a time where the level of violence and crime was less widely known than it is today.

It is also because some from the older generation are thinking, or not thinking, about other things. Too many may not realize the degree to which they are truly vulnerable to crime. It is pretty startling to think of all the other things that could have occurred in that moment, such as her being hit over the head, or shot, or victim to a carjacking. You name it, all of that could have happened to her. The sad truth is it does happen, every day somewhere in this country, multiple times.

So, the takeaway here is mostly obvious, including the advice never to keep your social security card or number where it can be stolen.

But the less obvious is this point. Her purse, which was not stolen, contained the fob to her car. Had the crooks taken her entire purse, and not just the billfold, she would not have been able to start her car.

Now here is a useful “bonus warning” for you: Anyone with a purse who is at a gas station about to fill up, needs to secure the purse. Do not leave the purse in the car unattended, whereby it can be stolen – taken with or without the car.

And this: Consider the risks you put yourself in whenever you let down your guard like this trusting, unsuspecting elderly person had done. It is an unfortunate reality that there are desperate people, conniving people, mentally unstable, and/or spiritually bankrupt people who may go to whatever means they devise, or imitate, to get what it is they are after, or take what they feel they are entitled to having.

It is up to the rest of us to spread the warning, which I hope you will do by passing this column along, and take seriously the advice to adjust your behaviors accordingly so you minimize the likelihood you too will fall victim to these crafty ploys.