Tell Giselle: Nourishing curiosity develops agency Part 2

“Should I encourage my child to build a career, and not just have a job?”

G: Last week’s column, “Wishy washy attitudes about work post graduation Part 1,” began by spotlighting Scott Galloway’s recent takedown of the “follow your bliss/passion” commencement speeches and continued with my assessment of the obvious diminishment of long-held work ethic norms.

Employment and unpaid work, of all kinds, are vehicles for experiencing infinite lessons. From developing technical skills at a craft to learning appropriate social behavior, the knowledge that is applied from those lessons can help one to create a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

These jobs, whether they be predominantly manual or mental, are what constitute a foundation for a vibrant society, but they are also the basis for securing many personal freedoms. Jobs offer certain options for living, which may include attaining the means to thrive as an independent person, and being able to help provide for those who may be less capable or in need of assistance.

Whatever the job may be, inherent within the actual work itself are gifts of self-discovery and wisdom. When seen through the lens of “work as the provider of opportunities for accelerating self-knowledge” rather than just a way to achieve material gain, jobs are a unique path for transcending immaturity, and for overcoming destructive co-dependencies on family, friends and government.

These innate gifts are available in abundance through any of the predominantly blue-collar positions. The caveat is that it requires full engagement in the physical demands of those work cultures in order for an employee or a volunteer to see the breadth and depth of their own value or self-worth.

To simply join a work force, whether for money or through volunteering, will begin a process that focuses one’s energies on growing up and growing into adulthood. Work that is performed in this way becomes a time-tested path for personal and spiritual liberation.

Therefore, doing any type of work that is essentially a service to others, such as with the military or law enforcement, construction, plumbing, housekeeping, healthcare, academics or any field that provides a form of “customer support” is an act of mutual benefit. These jobs expose a person to a diversity of thought that can annihilate ignorance while simultaneously testing one’s commitment to the practices of compassion, forgiveness and kindness.

That is a good thing in my spiritual playbook. Consistent practice helps not only an individual to improve, it increases the likelihood of other people being inspired to apply themselves and become exceptional.

Beyond meeting one’s physical needs, in totality, every work experience culminates in unexpected rewards. How so? Work is often the most dramatic path for achieving emotional health and spiritual maturity. Work is a way to discover so much of life’s rich complexity and diversity. Work helps to breed awe and gratitude.

But the bottom line here is about what is expected, or ought to be the goal, of the able-bodied/able-minded. How you respond to that concept will help to reveal where you fit into the tapestry of humanity.

Whenever I am asked how I raised such a competent daughter, or how best to help guide children to develop their abilities, I emphasize the need to cultivate curiosity. Exposing the youth to many activities and subjects, to a wide set of interests, encourages a passion for finding the answers to the “why” things are the way they are. All of that exploring then helps to develop a broader mindset about life, and about the kinds of job or career that are much more than a way to financial success.

Explain to them that any work that is done with the intention of personal development, and that simultaneously enhances the quality of life for others, will ultimately be a worthwhile pursuit.

Reinforce the idea that the surprise in store for them may just be that their next position holds the potential to exceed any previous concept of what their happiness could look and feel like.

But do not neglect to mention that their prerequisites or demands must not be that they have only jobs or work that they like. Why? Because that condition will imprison them in a cross-eyed view of the world. To be extraordinary – whether as an athlete, artist, professional or parent – will require regular practice, exertion, and investments of time that are a huge sacrifice, and not consistently enjoyable. If you were to ask my daughter or any physician about what it took for them to earn their degrees, you will hear it was a grueling process, often unpleasant. Yet the vast majority will add “but it was worth it.”

Truth be told, work, even in the creative arts, will not always be work that one likes to do. Holding on to the fantasy that it should be or must be, may help deepen any tendency toward melancholy or depression, and magnify insecurities and self-doubt. It is inadvisable to put off getting into the workforce because the job does not seem ideal or perfectly likeable.

That attitude can ultimately help build a pile of regrets, that so often includes a person’s choice to not pursue lifelong learning or reap joy from feeding their curiosity.

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It’s amusing to me how uncanny synchronicities appear, so often out of the blue. Within hours after I submitted to my publisher my recent column “Apologizing has no expiration date”, I signed into my AOL email account. Since I so rarely check it, I should not have been stunned to see an unread email that had been sent to me several weeks prior.

It was an apology from a man I dated very briefly, and chose for good reason to stop seeing, almost 30 years ago.

This was an apology that I didn’t need, but neither had I ever thought I would hear from him again. Perhaps I will address his apology in an upcoming column as it offers a useful lesson in the art of coming clean. Until then, consider reaching out with your own delayed apology to someone who might want to hear what you have to say, even if it seems like it is too late.