Tell Giselle: When and how much to donate

“Do you have a rule for how you choose what charities, families, or projects you contribute to? Even when it comes to tipping for services, unless there is a suggested amount on the bill, I cannot always feel I’m doing it correctly.”

G: When it comes to offering virtually anything to someone else, I don’t think you can go “wrong” with generosity.

Even when someone gives you a birthday or holiday gift that isn’t quite to your liking, or clothing that you like but just does not fit your size, you can always regift it, pass it along to a resale shop or donation drop-off. That makes all gifts “right” not “wrong” in my spiritual playbook.

What makes my offerings even more satisfying to me is when they are received with joyful surprise. Appreciation or tax deductions are not my requirements.

So, for me I look for organizations or people to donate to that I feel have that kind of happy energy. There are so many deserving places to give your money, time, or possessions that I think it really comes down to what you want to achieve.

For example, if you are cleaning out your closet because you need the space and must declutter, then it is essentially about you, rather than being about where you are giving your items.

If you need or want a tax deduction, then where you donate to may carry more or less value to you, depending on whether or not the donation is tax deductible, or what percentage of it may be.

I tend to focus my donating toward children and adults who live in my state and country who are in need, and to animal shelters. I have a soft spot for preserving our environment and wild animal habitats, but I cannot recall once ever sending money to saving elephants in Africa or the trees in the rain forest. For that I carefully consider some of my purchases, and I do buy “fair trade” and “organic” for most things.

With some regularity I see tragic news stories about someone or a family that has been devasted by a natural disaster or traffic accident. I will donate to their GoFundMe or any other such links, or to the local news station that is organizing support.

I recently got a pitch to donate to a local weekly newspaper trying to increase their resources for investigative reporting. Done.

The key to my donating is not necessarily the amount I can give, or how frequently I can give, but rather what I feel I am spiritually tasked to do. It’s not driven by tithing 10 percent or feeling pressured/guilted into giving.

For some of us, we go about earning money to sustain ourselves, but with the hope that we will have enough excess to provide support for others in need. That could be family, friends or strangers. This is part of a growing movement to concentrate on making as much money as possible in order to be of service to others with it, not just to enhance your own lifestyle.

In difficult economic times, and G-d knows many of us have first-hand knowledge of that, it is virtually impossible to sacrifice your own needs to help others. But, generally when it comes to donating, I’m addressing here anyone who actually does have the capability, the excess funds or resources, to give to others (or animals) in need.

As to appropriate tipping, this issue has grated on me for some time. I think that much too often customers are expected to fund the salaries of the employees. This dilemma has been corrected in parts of France. Servers at cafes and restaurants work on salary, and are therefore not dependent on tips for their living wage.

How refreshing it was to sit down at such places and be joyfully served by the staff, who all knew they could count on a fair day’s salary, rather than on the mood, stinginess or ignorance of diners.

I recently learned while at a salon that the nail technician does not earn a salary, and instead has to pay part of the charge to the owner of the shop. She and the others who work there are dependent on supplementing the service fee they charge with what tips are earned. This bugs me because not every customer knows how the fee/salary/tip percentages break down. So, consider asking, as I did and get your eyes and heart opened.

A blessing

In a recent column, I mentioned two lines of a blessing before a meal is eaten. It has a touch of humor to it. I was cleaning up my office and came across the blessing I jotted on a piece of paper. Don’t know who came up with it, but here is the blessing in its entirety:

“Give us good digestion, Lord

And also something to digest (that was the funny part, to me)

Give us a healthy body, Lord

With sense to keep it at its best.

Give us a sense of humor, Lord

Give us the grace to see a joke

To get some happiness from life

And pass it on to other folk.”

— Author unknown

This is pertinent to giving for sure. Give freely of yourself in any way, and at any time, that you can.

Email Giselle with your question at GiselleMassi@gmail.com or send mail: Giselle Massi, P.O. Box 991, Evergreen, CO 80437. For more info and to read previous columns, go to www.gisellemassi.com