Tell Giselle: Get over it, how?

“A relative is still really bummed about the election and obsessed with talking about it. Not that I am not disappointed, but I’m not stuck in a funk like she is. Looking for suggestions to push her along.”

G: What this election reveals about oneself is just one piece of an interior reality that is ever changeable. Getting control of one’s mental disposition, that can be strongly influenced by outside forces, is the goal. The sooner one becomes aware of having the choice of attitude, the sooner one reclaims equilibrium.

I’ve counseled many adults who seem to have a predisposition to wake up on the wrong side of the bed, not realizing there is another side they can scoot over to, and start their day better. It doesn’t matter how many wonderful things they have to rejoice in, they fixate on what is not right for them.

They are not unique; each morning we are all presented with an infinite number of possibilities to be upset about. We are also able to consider the opposite emotion. It’s up to each one of us to pick and choose and discard all those things that are not of benefit to us.

Our low moods can also be harmful to those around us who care about our wellbeing, so we need to consider what energy we are shedding.

Why this is so – the pervasiveness of a combative, cranky, toxic anger nature – is one of those mysteries in life I have not reconciled. Why couldn’t we have been born with the lifelong, unconditionally loving disposition of dogs? The G-d of my universe, and the only one that makes rational sense to me, would have made us in that image.

I have an eight-year-old toy poodle who greets me each morning with such ebullience that I marvel he hasn’t thrown out his back or ACLs from all the jumping, tail wagging barky excitement. He is my daily reminder that I too have another day to be persistently effervescent.

It is a challenge to accept that people will be struggling with their disappointment and frustrations until they get tired of themselves or learn they have options. Sometimes a sustained sour outlook damages a career, personal relationship, or one’s health, and only then a profound attitude change may occur. Remind her of this.

And yet, truth be told, the ugly moods from this election will continue to persist in a swath of the population, until they no longer serve their purpose. Yes, these dark moods serve a purpose. They can actually reveal an underlying source of pain that may have been hidden till now.

For those who are determined to negate that it is possible there’s a silver lining with this outcome — granted, one that has yet to be revealed — they may surprise themselves when one finally does reveal itself. They’ll likely become ecstatic and turn from their despair or that debilitating sense of having no real power.

That’s when some hidden pain has a chance to be better understood and even healed.

Consider what is going on with your friend in this light: her failure right now, her inability to see opportunities for action and ways to realign priorities, is her lesson in maturation.

She can use the outcome to explore moving to a place or line of work that is more suited to her orientation. She can do what my daughter has done and compile a list of businesses she can no longer support due to political affiliations and practices. Everyone can look at our politics as not set in stone and get engaged for the next campaign in 2026.

Build a more perfect union right here in this moment. Be kinder. Hold your tongue. Forgive those who do not realize the damage they are doing whenever they are not kind and spout hate. Get involved in causes outside oneself.

To not work to achieve incremental steps for greater civility, dignity and democracy would be a missed opportunity to elevate everyone’s joy.

Email Giselle with your question at GiselleMassi@gmail.com or send mail: Giselle Massi, P.O. Box 991, Evergreen, CO 80437. For more info and to read previous columns, go to www.gisellemassi.com.