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It is important to get involved in college.
As I mentioned in an earlier column, it seems that seldom is there another time in anyone’s life where they can participate in so many stimulating things.
However, there is something that is just as — if not more — important. Learning how to say “no.”
I, of all people, understand the temptation of doing absolutely everything. I understand it because I often try to do it. And rarely does it work out in my favor.
The truth of the matter is, even if you have time, you simply can’t do everything to the best of your ability if you overload yourself. Thinking of things in terms of schedule does not work; sure, you can cram everything you want to do into one day, but at what cost? Your peace of mind? Your sanity?
More often than not, it just is not worth it.
Aside from your own serenity, saying “yes” to too many things does not do anyone else any favors either.
As the head of two campus organizations, I’ve been in a profusion of situations where well-meaning students who genuinely want to participate in an activity agree to do so. Despite how greatly they might want to be involved, though, they just don’t have the time or energy.
What ends up happening is more participation, but less quality participation, or worse, everyone drops their responsibilities because they can’t budget time to fulfill them.
This is not their fault. It is just an error in judgment.
I know I would much rather have someone say “no” right off the bat than say “yes” and skirt their obligations. There is no contest.
Rarely will anyone on campus be upset with you if you say you can’t do something when initially asked. Someone else will be asked; someone will have time, and all will be right with the world. What is upsetting is when someone accepts a responsibility and does not follow through; usually, this means last minute remedies and a lot of stress for everyone.
That being said, if you initially say “yes” to something, and it turns out you don’t think you can do it, let whoever is counting on you know right away. This is about minimizing harm and stress.
If you think it will overwhelm you, say “no.” Think in terms of not only your time but also your energy. Think about how thin you are spreading yourself, and how that not only affects you but also the people who would be counting on you.