At 96 Mom deserves favorite date and nut cake

As my mother-in-law, Mary Guydish of West Hazleton, approached her 96th birthday last week, I asked my sister-in-law Deb if I could bake a cake, something sweet to top off the wonderful surf-and-turf dinner Deb had planned.

So Deb sent me the recipes for “Mom’s favorite cake,” which is a hearty, old-fashioned concoction chock-full of dates and nuts, as well as “Mom’s favorite icing,” which is also known, according to a recipe typed on an index card, as Your Basic Fluffy Icing.

You know, I firmly believe a mother of nine who worked hard all her life and reaches the age of 96 deserves whatever kind of cake she prefers, even if the frosting — ahem — throws her daughter-in-law for a loop.

“I made the cake and Mark made the icing,” I told the little family group that gathered for the birthday dinner.

That was quite true. Mark made the icing we would be eating.

No one would consume my first awkward attempt at Your Basic Fluffy Icing — but that’s not important.

It’s more important that Mary enjoyed her dinner and her cake, that she’s healthy enough to live at her long-time home, and that she has family members and caregivers who watch out for her.

And even if some children and grandchildren live far away, they try to stay connected. As we sat down to dinner her granddaughter Rachel made a Facetime call from South Carolina. We could all see her and her little boys, Bear and Wyatt, who said they miss their great-grandmother and want to visit.

That was sweet.

And, of course, so was the cake.

Deb praised me for having the patience to “cut up all those dates and nuts” but believe me, I didn’t find that difficult. Just give me a little knife and 5 or 10 minutes. The cake batter was no problem.

My challenge was that fluffy frosting. I have to admit I am not very experienced at icing, fluffy or otherwise. Most of the cakes I’ve ever baked have been blueberry or applesauce cakes that look and taste just fine unadorned.

I may have made icing only once before in my life and I remember that confectioners sugar, milk and butter formed the basis.

This recipe called for granulated sugar, which perplexed me a little, and it also described a procedure of mixing flour into milk while heating it.

Trying to follow the instructions, I added the flour to the milk and, since it seemed to blend almost immediately, I stopped heating it. That probably was my mistake, Mark later explained, as I tried without success to beat the icing into submission, I mean, into some degree of fluffiness, with an electric mixer.

This icing wasn’t smooth. It never became fluffy. Its texture was even sort of granular, but apparently that wasn’t because of the granulated sugar that went into it. It was because I hadn’t spent enough time stirring and heating the flour and milk together.

Anyway, we started a new batch from scratch, with Mark heating the flour in the milk and stirring it until it had a smooth, thick consistency.

When it was cool he added the other ingredients, including the granulated sugar, and beat it until it was quite fluffy.

I added the vanilla and spread the icing, just so I could say I helped.

“I must have made this icing dozens, maybe hundreds, of times over the years,” Mark said.

Hmmm. If I had known that, I would have suggested making this a joint project from the start.

Here are the recipes.

Date and Nut Cake

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup butter

2 eggs

1 cup sour cream

2 cups flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

2 teaspoons vanilla

1 pound (2 cups) chopped dates

1 cup chopped nuts

Instructions: Cream together butter and sugar. Add vanilla.

Add eggs and beat well.

Mix flour with spices and baking soda and add to egg mixture.

Slowly add sour cream and mix well. Fold in dates and nuts.

Pour into greased and floured tube pan or Bundt pan. Or bake in 9×13 pan at 350 degrees F for 30 to 35 minutes.

Your Basic Fluffy Icing

Mix 2/3 cup milk and 3 tablespoons flour in a small saucepan. Cook and stir until thick. Let cool completely.

Cream together in mixing bowl: 2/3 cup granulated sugar, 6 tablespoons margarine and 5 tablespoons shortening (Crisco).

Add milk mixture to sugar mixture. Add 1/2 teaspoon vanilla. Beat until fluffy. The margarine makes it slightly yellow. For really white icing you can reduce or eliminate the margarine and use Crisco to take its place.