Beyond the Byline: No Valentine’s Day ticket to Idaho for me

That day is here again — tomorrow — also known as Valentine’s Day.

I shudder just thinking about it.

Yes, I jest. Well, a little I guess.

Actually, I mostly lament of what could have been. I have loved and I have lost — every time. I know what you are thinking — what’s the common denominator here.

OK, it’s not them, it’s me. I guess.

I mean, who would respond to this? Here’s a suggested intro for my never to see the light of day dating site plea for mercy:

“Burned out former hippie freak who has lived thru Woodstock, The Beatles and disco; likes quieter times with good food, great music and genuine friendships; luvs cats, has a job and genuine compassion for human beings — not afraid to value faith and eager to face every day with sincerity and blatant truth.”

The phone should be ringing off the hook! LOL!

Pathetic? Not really. Sad, maybe. Factual? Oh yeah.

Now as yet another Valentine’s Day approaches, a new study — from the Seniorly Resource Center — Seniorly— found Pennsylvania is the No. 25 worst state for seniors seeking love.

According to the study, a record 54 million Americans are 65 and older and a staggering 43% of them are single.

Apparently, good health, finances and a large pool of potential partners are some factors senior love-seekers find attractive.

Uh-oh.

Key national findings of the study included:

• Idaho is the No. 1 best state and Mississippi is the No. 1 worst. Where are these places, I ask?

• 8 of the 10 best states are in the West or Midwest with two from the Northeast.

• 9 of the 10 worst states are in the South with our nation’s capital being the sole exception.

I firmly believe that Valentines might last a day, but true love lasts forever.

I just haven’t been able to find it. Well, maybe I did, but didn’t recognize it, or couldn’t handle it or I just ignored it.

And each year as Valentine’s Day approaches I cringe at the mere mention of the celebration.

Be my Valentine? Buy me a box of candy. Send me a heart-filled card. Flowers — roses of course — would be appreciated.

And of course there will be dinner and conversation, perhaps some jewelry.

All to show one’s undying, faithful love for the other.

Really?

I mean it when I say that when I see a couple together — a real couple of decades of togetherness — I feel all warm and fuzzy. It comforts me to think that such love exists. I hope there are many more examples around.

My experience, however, regrettably has been different. I’ve been married, divorced and “out there” for so long I’m not even sure where “there” is and where I am.

Divorce is so common these days that I sometimes ponder why people even try the marriage route. Face it, we are never going to return to that dinner table with Ward and June, Wally and The Beaver. The nuclear family has exploded into an “everyone for themselves” fast-food existence that flies in the face of home-cooked meals, manners and family time.

Would I want to have a Valentine? For sure. And I would like to be my Valentine’s Valentine.

In the words of that famous “Hee Haw” duet: “I’ve searched the world over and I thought I found true love; she met another and pfft she was gone.”

Friends have tried the fix-up method with me. Didn’t work.

My personal search has turned up few, if any, true prospects.

So what to do?

Here I am at an age at which I (perhaps) can handle a true, trust-based relationship and either all the good ones are gone, or the ones still available are nowhere to be found. It’s not like there’s a listing somewhere of single, available, fun women.

Is there?

And don’t give me those online dating services. They are too expensive and just aren’t for me. How many women are there after all who “like to walk in the sand, listen to Kenny G and light candles indoors?”

I go here and there, spending time with friends and family, but is this all that’s left for me?

I often think of those good old days and imagine how nice it would have been to find that right girl. To have had children and grandchildren. To still hold hands. To have someone to come home to.

Oh, if only “I were so much older then, I’m younger than that now” were true, as The Byrds sang.

If you are lucky enough to have that special person with whom to spend Valentine’s Day, savor it. Keep building on that foundation so when you get to my age and older, you’re not “out there” wishing you had what you once did.

Buy that card or that box of candy. Send those flowers. Keep the fire burning.

Lift a glass, make a toast and cherish your Valentine.

Gotta go now — I’m headed to Idaho.

And be a Valentine yourself. Every day.