Beyond the Byline: A virtual visit with Santa? No thanks

WILKES-BARRE — I have traveled quite a bit in my time — most of the 48 contiguous U.S. states, Europe, Canada, Mexico (I really don’t want to talk about that) and Mocanaqua.

Never been north to Alaska and I fear the long, all-carry flight to Hawaii.

But there is one place I really have always wanted to visit — the North Pole.

Since early childhood, I have longed to travel to that winter wonderland and visit Santa’s home and workshop. I would love to sit at the kitchen table of Santa and Mrs. Claus’ and have a hot cup of coffee, a few cookies and conversation. I would ask Santa and his wife — I believe her name is Mary — all the questions I have had for years.

And I would be sure to let Santa know what I would like for Christmas.

As you can tell from the attached picture, my early meetings with Santa were a bit tenuous — I wasn’t sure about the guy and I really didn’t fully appreciate the fact that he was the guy who brought me all those presents that only an only child could get.

Once I grasped the concept, I was sure to visit Santa every year, and I would bring a very lengthy handwritten list for him to take back to the North Pole with him.

This process always worked. And I was appreciative, leaving Santa a plate full of my mom’s homemade cookies and a glass of milk. As I recall this, I find it a bit coincidental that my dad loved the same kind of cookies that my mom baked for Santa.

Hmmmmm.

So for generations, before and after my youth, kids have anticipated going to the department store or the mall and waiting in line to sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what they want for Christmas. It’s been a tried and true proven process.

Until now, thanks to the freaking pandemic.

According to Macy’s website, “since 1861, generations of children have enjoyed the magic of a visit with the one and only Santa Claus at Macy’s. That cherished holiday tradition will continue in a new way this year. We are working hard to reimagine Santaland and create a safe experience for kids and their families. Please check back, more information will be available soon”

Wait, what?

Yes, Virginia, there will be no Santa Claus at Macy’s this year. I’ll venture to say that the jolly old elf will not be seen anywhere this year for kids to wait in line and sit on his lap to tell him what they want most for Christmas.

Yeah, I know, it’s got to be this way. But we don’t have to like it.

The website notes that from the early 1860s until today, Santa has called Macy’s his home base during the holiday season. More than 200,000 guests have visited Santaland inside Macy’s Herald Square each year since 1977.

CNN reports that “Santa meet-and-greets won’t be happening this year because of concerns about the coronavirus pandemic. Instead, Macy’s is creating an interactive virtual experience.”

“To replicate the magical experience of visiting Macy’s Santaland for children and their families, we will shift to a virtual engagement this year,” Susan Tercero, Macy’s vice president of Branded Entertainment, said in a press release. “It will be available online from Nov. 27 to Dec. 24.”

Macy’s will limit the number of children who can participate: Up to three can take part in the customized experience at one time, the company told CNN.

According to the CNN story, the virtual Santa experience starts with a greeting from virtual elves who lead the way through Santa’s village and workshop, stopping to see the sights and play interactive games. At the end, kids will meet Santa through an interactive video, where they’ll be able to share their holiday wish list and take a selfie, which families can download immediately, with Santa.

CNN says that Macy’s isn’t getting rid of Santa completely this year — he’ll still be a star of the department store’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. But even the parade will look different — shifting the event to a “television-only special presentation.”

And you can be sure if you happen upon Santa anywhere this holiday season, he will be wearing a protective mask.

“Hmmf, hmmf, hmmf.” (Ho, ho, ho.)

Get me the number for the North Pole, please.