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It’s the last day of 2023 and we would humbly suggest a single New Year’s resolution, or just consider it something to try for a while to see how it works.
Be a little kinder.
There are very real, and very unnecessary, wars raging overseas — wars caused in part by bitter, centuries-old divisions and distrust, but also caused by a determined refusal to let other people live as they see fit as long as they do the same for you.
Our domestic politics have become poisoned with the language of outright abhorrence, and we cannot stress enough how so much of that bile is aimed not at true enemies of this country but at fellow Americans who likely all want the same things, but believe in pursuing them through different paths.
The hyperbolic venom spewed by many running for office in 2024 is anathema to our democracy. The essence of America has always been freedom to disagree without fearing for your life or well-being, we are losing that. The proof is in the shocking increase in hate speech and hate crimes, particularly against Jews, Muslims, Asians and Hispanics. It is also evident in the coarse, abrasive language political candidates increasingly use to attack each other, as though dropping the niceties of civil interaction is proof they are more fit, not less fit, for office.
We’re not asking you to change your opinion, just think about changing your tone. Try to ignore the doomsayers who insist voting for anyone else will be the end of the world as we know it. Be less coarse, more thoughtful. Consider that the “other side” may have good reasons for their positions. Prepare to listen as much as you talk.
If you troll or bait on social media, consider taking a break. Stop looking to start arguments and evoke anger. Change your browsing habits and steer clear, for a spell, of the hardcore firebrands who make their money by making you mad. Look for more even-handed reporting and analysis. Remember that democracies fail most often from within, when we get so tribal there can be no compromise. We are a nation, internally, that survives and thrives by finding common ground.
Being kind can be simple. Hold the door for the person behind you. Rather than curse slow service, tip the harried waiter a bit more for their effort, or thank the rushed clerk and wish them a good day. If you are that waiter or that store clerk, pay attention to those who are left waiting, consider how best to help them, and avoid dallying too long when not necessary.
At the store, put your phone away and take out your wallet, credit card or check book while your items are being rung up, rather than waiting for the total to be tabulated. At movies, plays or concerts, consider if you really need to pull your smart phone out the second a film ends or an intermission begins. Maybe you can talk to those around you about the entertainment, or just enjoy the surroundings before posting to social media and checking your text messages.
Find something you can genuinely complement in another person, even a stranger. Listen when others talk, without filling your mind with planned responses.
Share something: Offer a cup of tea, coffee or soda, give some surplus produce from your backyard garden, prep a care package from the cookies or cake you baked, or the excess treats you accrued during a holiday. Volunteer for a charitable effort.
And find real reasons to smile more often. They are all around you, you just need to decide to notice them.
Acts of kindness really are a gift to yourself. They boost your own confidence, your sense of being in control, and your feeling of happiness. With luck, they will make those around you feel better themselves, and they will pass some of it on.
– Times Leader