Beyond the Byline: Virtual living was here long before the pandemic

WILKES-BARRE — Since the pandemic, it is said that we have been living in a “virtual” world.

Perhaps, but for many of us, virtual living has been going on for decades and decades.

For those of us who have lost loved ones, we have lived “virtually” since the day those loves ones left the Earth.

For me, I have had many virtual conversations with my mom and dad for many years — since May 10, 1968, for my mom, and since Nov. 13, 1995, for my dad.

What choice do I have? I sure as heck can’t have a ZOOM conference with them.

So, to “keep in touch” with the two most influential people I have ever known, I must resort to “virtual” means of communication.

And it has worked — at least for me. Through memories, photographs, drives through my old neighborhood, and quiet times at home or in the car, I have been able to call on mom and dad for advice, guidance and prayer throughout my life.

And oh yeah, hopping in the Way Back Machine has also allowed me to visit with them time and again.

Living in my virtual world has allowed me to get through my life without mom and dad’s physical presence. The virtual methods I have mentioned have worked for me.

So for many of us, we didn’t need a pandemic to teach us how to communicate virtually. We have known about this, like I said, forever.

“Virtual” is defined as:

• Having the essence or effect, but not the appearance or form.

• Being, relating to, or involving a virtual image.

• Capable of producing an effect through inherent power or virtue.

That last one is what I’m talking about here.

We all have that inherent power or virtue to participate in this virtual reality of keeping in touch with those who are no longer sitting next to us, or at the other end of the phone, or are at our holiday dinner tables.

If we try hard, we can see them, hear them, enjoy them and that helps us keep them with us.

Those of you who have your moms and dads around, cherish these days. You are fortunate to have them to rely on, to seek out for counsel, or to just have fun with them anytime you choose.

For people like me and so many others, our memories, although very clear, are all we have.

The acts of kindness my mother and father showed to their fellow human beings have stayed with me through my life. They set an example for me that I strive to live by.

My parents have lived on through me and they will always be in my heart and in my mind. It’s the best way I can honor them for all they did in their short lifetimes and for what they meant to me, our family, friends and community.

My mom and dad were always there when I played sports. I could always hear mom’s cheers above all others. And dad was always there at every practice and game, supporting me 100%.

They were proud of me. I knew that.

I learned so much from my mom and dad and every day since May 10, 1968, and Nov. 13, 1995, I have thought of them — relied on them.

They both have been there with me from on high to guide me, to advise me, acting like my celestial conscience.

I often think how my life would have been different had mom and dad lived longer lives.

And I have often wondered about being there for them — to run errands, to help around the house, to do, well, whatever they asked.

That’s why I caution you who have your parents still around. Cherish all of these days and enjoy each and every second of them.

Don’t complain when they ask you to do this, or go there, or take them wherever they ask. Just do it. And do it with a smile on your face and joy in your heart.

I wish I could pick up the phone, dial their number and hear their voices again. I long to be able to take them to the grocery store, the doctor’s office or to a baseball game, or just visiting friends and family.

My parents knew how to live and love well. And they did it all without ever complaining. They cherished being parents.

So for 55 years since my mom passed, and 28 since dad joined her, I have lived in a virtual world where I still have them with me.

Every day I think of them, I talk to them, I rely on them, I value them and, yes, I miss them.

But they are with me, all-ways, that is for sure.

A pandemic didn’t have to happen for me to know the value of living virtually.

And I can tell you for certain, that my virtual world is very real.