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“Ready, fire, aim.”

That’s the credo of the Wilkes-Barre Area School Board with regard to the construction of a new school in Plains Township. This project seems to be moving along grossly mismanaged.

First of all, it was determined that Coughlin was deteriorating and we needed to build a new school on this site. Then, we might as well throw Meyers into the fray because it’s crumbling and the ground is unstable, but we’ll keep Memorial Stadium.

OK, let’s spend money to design and construct a new school for consolidation on Coughlin’s property. Money well spent. Uh oh, somebody forgot about the zoning requirements. Property is too small for that many students. Think the taxpayers will notice?

What to do? Let’s hyper-ventilate into a brown paper bag. Meanwhile back in the Heights, GAR is having its issues. Maybe they’ll feel left out if we don’t include them in the consolidation.

Hey, remember the zoning requirements? We need a bigger piece of land. Think the taxpayers will notice? Ignore the Save Our Schools Committee. We’ve got money to burn.

Since this involves three schools, how about a piece of land at the relative midway point? No way, makes too much sense, besides some of the students will be able to walk to school and we’ll have to lay off bus drivers. Hey how about the 55 acres near the Geisinger Hospital? It’s free!!!

Hey, how about those coal banks that are at the outer edges of the school district, you know Pagnotti’s place? It’s a steal for $4.2 mil. We can borrow the other $137 million.

Think the taxpayers will notice? First on the agenda we need to conduct studies. No, no, we need to pick a name for the football team. Oh and how about the team colors? And the team logo, we need to design the team logo.

Get right on that. We’ve got money to burn.

Hey this coal stuff, could it be toxic? Could we have another Love Canal on our hands? What are you worrying about? Even though the soil is toxic, the EPA will help us to prevent exposure. Well, how about traffic, pollution, noise, logistics and general neighborhood impact studies? What? Never heard of them. Didn’t ya hear? We’re the Wolfpack and our colors are Carolina blue and black.

Steven Klubeck

Wilkes Barre

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